Tennis elbow, toothache and Tena lady

 

 

Life has been even busier than normal of late and I have not had the chance to sit in front of the laptop and create a blog post.  Days out, work commitments, mountains of paperwork and so on.  However, do not fear regular readers, I am back!

Following on from the flooding item in my last post, I had a visit from the local branch of the Jehovah’s Witnesses a couple of weeks back.  The lady who knocks every few weeks is very pleasant and chatty, usually brings her mother along for added entertainment, and we have a discussion about all sorts of issues whilst standing on the step.  I always take her Watchtower and the other publication, the name of which escapes me at present, as firstly it makes her day and secondly some of the bits are an interesting read.  I can’t proclaim to agree with a lot of the writings but people are free to believe what they like.  However, our conversation during this visit moved to a very British subject, the weather, and swiftly to the devastating floods over the past weeks around the country, particularly in Somerset.  According to the JW lady, had Jesus been alive today this would not have happened (she started quoting from the Bible about how He stopped the Sea of Galilee from flooding and drowning people) as he would not have allowed the houses to be built on the flood plains.  This to me implied that He would have been working in the Somerset County Council Planning Department (seems a little unlikely......how would he have fitted such a job around his preaching and miracles with food?).  I raised this idea with people from various other Christian denominations......after loud guffawing we agreed the concept to be a bit farfetched.  Actually I think He would be more useful at the food bank with a few loaves and fishes.  The townsfolk could be fully nourished for weeks.

I have spent the last week or so in the grip of another round of tennis elbow, fortunately not as severe as on previous occasions, but not ideal when I spend half the week having to lift toddlers.  Unless you have experienced this it is tricky to fully appreciate the pain......imagine a large bee stinging your arm around the bony bits every time you try to straighten the arm or bring your fingers and thumb together.  Not a good feeling and it makes everyday tasks harder e.g. changing gear in the car, using hair straightners, zipping pockets.......the list is endless.  Add into the mix my old adversary, chronic toothache caused by sinkholes appearing at random in various teeth, and you will understand why the shares in Panadol have rocketed.

Never mind, I am still receiving daily email offer to make my life easier........Tena Lady free samples, the walk in bath, SAGA this that and the other (I had no idea they had their fingers in so many pies), Viagra (great market research yet again) and the icing on the cake this month............an invitation to have a look inside my local care home.  Oh thank you for that.  Just because I can see it across the other side of the field from my house does not mean I am ready to move in there.

 

Last week I had the privilege of attending a celebration of life service for a local lady.  She passed away, unexpectedly, almost a month to the day prior to the service and only a week after I had met her in town as we were bustling around trying to beat the strong winds and get our various bits of shopping done.  The service was beautifully carried out and included amusing eulogies from her family which made the congregation laugh loudly.  The whole event was a very fitting tribute and the fact that people had to stand as the church was packed out showed how popular she was.  Over the years I knew her she was always caring, had time for a chat, asked about my other family members, knew every person by name as they walked through the surgery doors or if she met them in the street, and was the best person ever with a needle.......not once did she bruise me!  When I first registered with the surgery she was the person who did my initial health screening and the last time I had blood taken she was at the other end of the needle.

I always referred to her as “The Lovely Val” to her face and when talking to others about her, and this is how I will remember her.

 

Christmas, flooding and refunds

 

Into another year already, where did 2013 go to?  Now then, what has happened since my last episode?

Christmas has come and gone and passed off well, fairly quiet on the actual day itself, but we managed to avoid snow, ice, four day old sausages (regular readers will remember the events of two years ago) and overeating.  The television choice as usual was pretty bad and we spent some time watching ancient episodes of The Walton’s and Little House on The Prairie for some proper, wholesome, non-offensive family viewing.  Santa found his way to the tree and left some goodies.  He appreciated the carrots for his hoofed helpers but was less than impressed with the glass of water which I was instructed to leave him.  Apparently that was what he wanted, according to my parents as they filled a couple of sherry glasses to the brim and tucked in.  They were wrong; Santa wanted something a little more potent.

The television presenters and so-called experts are banging on about climate change being the reason we are experiencing flooding around the country.  I am sure that it has more to do with barmy council officials granting planning for houses and retail parks on flood plains, thereby taking away drainage that has been in place for many years and not creating sufficient new ditches, drains and soakaways.  Fortunately I have not been affected by flooding in this house.......just as well really as if I flood then the rest of the town will be like Atlantis seeing as how I live at the top of a hill.  More houses are about to be built near me so this non-flooding situation might change over the next year or two.

Before Christmas I purchased a new vacuum cleaner.  I looked online at a large retailer’s website, reserved it and collected it a few hours later.  On checking my receipt when I got home, I realised they had overcharged me by £80 so contacted the store and agreed to return later in the week to speak to the manager and get a refund.  Simple enough.......oh no.  I duly turned up with my receipt and a screenshot of the item with the price advertised only to be told that was incorrect and it had never been offered at that price, therefore a refund was out of the question.  Once I was fed up arguing the point with him, I guess he thought that was the end of the matter.  Silly man, he should have thought this one through.  I wrote and complained to his head office who replied stating that just because an item is reserved and collected the same day does not mean the price is the same.  They further listed all the price changes on this item over a short period of time.  Thanks very much for that, just what I needed for Trading Standards!  To cut a long story short, I had a refund for more than the difference between price advertised and price paid and Trading Standards are investigating the pricing anomalies on the company.  I also have a great vacuum cleaner.  Result!

My next mission is to have a proper sort out of every room in the house and see what I can unearth.  Rumour has it that a reward is still being offered for the capture of Lord Lucan.  I just may be able to claim this money by the end of this project..........

 

 

Miami, monsoons and medicines

Howdy y’all I am back from the trip to Florida and what a smashing time was had.  The flight over to Miami was fine then we queued for what seemed like an eternity to clear passport control.  Our officer (more Hank Hillbilly than officer) was far more entertaining than is normally encountered in the USA, he cracked jokes, smiled and actually I think he had probably relieved the monotony of his day by taking some controlled substance or other.  Anyway, having successfully been granted entry we headed to the dedicated area for car hire, filled out the forms and were told to report to area six where we could choose whatever car in the range we wanted!  Well this was a new experience as normally cars are pre-allocated so we hung around until one appeared that suited us and off we headed.  By now it was 6pm local time and negotiating Miami and its wonders was entertaining.......very unsavoury area near to the airport but we were soon on Interstate 75 and heading across state to our destination.  On route we stopped at a service station which turned out to be at the edge of the Seminole reservation and sampled our first pizza slice of the fortnight.  This was no UK slice, oh no.  Imagine an 18” pizza, quartered, and there you have it.  This was the first of three visits to this eatery and on the final airport bound trip we saw the resident large alligator staring out from the pond.  There was a sign on the chain link fence warning the public not to feed the reptile........amazingly the fencing was only on one short length of the pond and the alligator could easily climb out and go for a stroll.  Imagine returning to your car after using the foodery or restroom to be met by a knobbly creature with staring eyes at the side of your car....... I digress, so onward with the journey during which we drove through several electrical storms coupled with torrential rain.  We arrived at the holiday house after dark, switched the television on and the first programme to appear was classic British comedy “Keeping Up Appearances”.

Over the course of the two weeks we went out and about every day taking in the sights and visited several lovely beaches, a zoo where I hand fed a giraffe, shopping malls and the Seminole reservation museum to name but a few.  Prior to leaving the UK we had booked tickets and hotels for a couple of nights in Tampa and Orlando to visit Busch Gardens and SeaWorld.  Now then, we knew there would be daily tropical showers and this was acceptable most days.  What we (and indeed the American people) did not expect was the monsoon that arrived at the exact moment we located our hotel in Tampa.  The deluge started at midday on the Monday and was still going strong when we headed to Orlando the following day.  As a result we only saw half of the attractions at Busch and I was so wet (despite my very attractive waterproof poncho) that I resembled Worzel Gummidge in a burka.  Fortunately the weather improved for our SeaWorld day and I was able to stroke dolphins.  Phil declined the handling part and took photos of me hanging over the wall into the pool.......he was really pleased (or not) when one of the dolphins decided to include him and splashed its tail soaking him from head to foot.  Being a real trouper he managed to shield the camera so scored extra points for that.

The road-kill was rather different to back here........raccoons, turtles, various birds and best of all (well not for the creature obviously), the torso of an alligator being snacked on by a black vulture in the middle of the road!  We also spotted signs for a panther crossing area but sadly did not encounter any.

Apart from the giant pizza slices, every plate of food when eating out was way too big and as for the ‘small’ drinks, well they were 32 fl oz which is roughly two pints.  I brought a beaker home from one of the restaurants as I told the waiter nobody back here would believe me otherwise!  There is a huge (pardon the pun) obesity problem in the USA and this cannot be helped by the portion sizes, unlimited free refills of fizzy (full fat) drinks and drive in this that and the other.  Even pharmacies have drive in facilities.  Cut the portion sizes and get people walking more before the country starts sinking into the sea.

Medical adverts were plentiful on every television channel, with products covering everything from Type 2 diabetes to heart conditions.  The side effects advisories were longer than the advert for the products and included such gems as “should you take this product you may experience severe side effects such as reduced mobility and pancreatitis which could prove fatal....”  I will give that a miss then.  It is a wonder any of these items actually sell.

I previously mentioned that himself was planning to have a go at driving in the USA.......well, he did! Actually he waited until the final full day and announced he was going to drive around the circle of houses where we were staying.  He managed to get around, narrowly missed demolishing our mailbox then claimed “I have driven abroad.....” Hmmmm not quite what I class as driving in foreign parts but it is a start.

The time came to bid farewell to 90 odd degrees heat and 95% humidity and head back to Blighty.  Luckily we landed in reasonably warm weather for the UK in early autumn which softened the blow a bit.  I had no issue in either country with jet lag; however I did spend much of the first week back stalling the car around town as having got used to an automatic I kept forgetting to change gear.

Hey ho, first holiday for 2014 has already been booked.  Have a nice day!

 

New term. new furniture and new state

New term, new furniture and new state

What is that I can hear? Ah yes, the sound of silence as the schools have finally all gone back for the start of the new term.  No more squabbling over toy sharing, the electricity bill has dipped considerably without various electronic gadgets plugged in for charging and the water consumption has returned to normal now that toilet flushing has been reduced to a minimum.

My parents returned from their fortnight away in the north and reported surprisingly good weather for the time of year with only one wet day.  This was in complete contrast to last year’s trip when they were in danger of being washed away by flash flooding.  They returned home to a newly decorated lounge (courtesy of their wonderful daughter – that will be me then) and the new lounge furniture which I had managed to finally get Next to deliver.  It was four weeks late in arriving (sort of makes the word ‘Next’ a bit meaningless) although I did keep receiving calls and texts telling me it was ready to be delivered……on contacting the dispatch people it was apparent that only two out of the three items were available.  This went on and on until I told them that I had two days in which I could take delivery and there was no room for negotiation.  As if by magic the items were suddenly available.  Praise be, a miracle!

A couple of weekends ago we went to the MotoGP for the first time.  It was a totally different atmosphere to the F1 racing, and a shorter race, but the day was marvellous.  These bikers are a crazy bunch………the guy who qualified on pole position the previous day was riding around the track on Sunday morning when he managed to go tippy tumbles and land in the gravel.  He got up gingerly holding his left arm – as it happened, he had dislocated his left shoulder.  That would have smarted a little.  However, he was patched up, given a couple of aspirin and raced in the GP that afternoon, finishing second, having being overtaken on the last bend.  Perhaps the footballers should take heed of this and not have weeks away from kicking the pigs bladder around after they have tripped and broken a nail.

I am packed and ready to head off to Florida for a couple of weeks in the sunshine before winter sets in here.  I have not been to this state before so have been reading up on what there is to do.  Apparently there are thunderstorms every afternoon for a couple of hours so I guess an indoor spot to observe from is a sensible idea.  I contacted the travel company to enquire about upgrading their basic car hire insurance to automatically give me a second driver and a satnav.  Unbelievably I was quoted £462…….I don’t pay anywhere near this for a yearly policy on my car which includes business use and European cover.  After a few internet searches I have managed to hire a satnav for £50, arrange extra hire car cover for £50 and find out the hire car company will add an extra driver for around six dollars a day.  The villa we have hired does not come with a welcome food pack (unlike the James Villas properties we have previously used) so we will be looking out for a Wal-Mart en route from the airport to get some basics.  We are also making a saving on airport parking my using my brother’s drive and getting him to transport us to and from the terminal.  On this note, I reminded my younger sibling that I would be cashing in one of the airport trips he owes me……he appears to have early onset memory loss as apparently I have only dropped and/or collected him twice.  When I have time I will itemise each and every trip I have done for him, including arriving at 2 a.m. to collect him from home only to find he was still packing.

Toilets, a bath and stools

Well then, the music festival has been and gone and was as brilliant as ever.  Being considerably drier than last year added to the ambiance and I was able to wander around in Crocs for part of the weekend.  Highlights included watching Sinead O’Connor who put in a cracking performance and should have been the headline act that evening rather than Primal Scream.  This was in fact what I felt like letting out after their first couple of songs.  Their lead singer appeared to have a giant ants nest in his pants judging by the way he was scooting around the stage. There was the usual mix of quirky folk around and some interesting outfits and hairstyles.  Apart from the delights of the chemical toilets (don’t go there unless you really have to), my real bugbear was the deflating airbed – it started off fine but by every morning it was like sleeping on a pitta bread.

Most bizarre conversation of the weekend involved a festival goer reporting a concern to a paramedic.  He collared him to say he had seen two people unconscious in the main field having taken a variety of substances and a bottle of Jack Daniels.  Great community spirit I thought until he announced he had seen them two hours previously.....

My parents are on their annual jaunt north and I had a call this morning to advise me that the breakfast area of their hotel has a Christmas tree on display, fully decorated. It is August.....  At this rate the trees will be up all year round – in fact some people here leave their external lights up all year (albeit turned off) which I guess saves standing outside in subzero temperatures nearer to the festive season to decorate houses and outbuildings.

Over the bank holiday, we took a day trip over the border into Wales.  It was almost like being on holiday with all the dual language signage.  The only obvious difference was that we were travelling on the left and himself was behind the wheel.  He has yet to fully recover from the Paris experience but is building up to possibly driving in the USA with the reasoning that the car is automatic, the speed limit is slower and the roads are wider. We will wait and see (it could of course be my turn to scream and cuss).

The helpful emails offering me various products continue to flood in.  Current selections include a walk in bath (I am 50 not 90); the old favourite mobility scooter (could be handy for the school run and shopping); and a new one........alcohol rehab (I am teetotal).  Some cracking market research prior to making the offers.  I also had a brochure from a well known company offering me blinds for my non-existent conservatory.  Again, market research at its finest.

Last week my Dad decided to take a stroll to town on one of the hottest days but refused to take a bottle of water.  He did compromise and put a sunhat on although I don’t think any sun cream came out of the pot.  Anyhow, I went out and about doing other stuff and on the way home an hour or so later decided I would try to find him and give him a lift back.  He is easy to spot as he is always wearing a blue shirt and beige trousers (if he ever goes missing it will be easy to give a description) and I spotted him trudging up a hill carrying something large.  When I caught him up I saw he had a large three legged stool newly acquired from the local antique centre.  The reason for the purchase was so he could rest his feet on it in the evenings........okay then, this will go with the other three legged stool you already have in the conservatory then.  Hmmm.....at this point he offered to sell it to me for £10.  Thanks, but no thanks.  On reflection, he could have used it to take a rest on the way home that day and had he put his sunhat on the floor then people might have thought he was begging and thrown coins (or other objects) at him.  A more useful idea would be to keep it in the car and when thirsty, nip into the farmer’s field and milk a cow.

French quirkiness, pants and a reporter

Yes, it is me, I am back!  After my previous blog when I realised some time had passed since the last one, I vowed to get back on track with more regular postings.  However, I have had so little free time that it simply did not happen.

What have I been up to then? Well, to name a few events..........holiday in France, British Grand Prix, weekend in Bristol, visit to The Shard, extra celebration for my birthday, Kenilworth castle, Phil’s 50^th.................oh yes, and working long hours.  Life is crazy.

France was great fun from start to finish.  We headed to Le Mans for the 24 hour race and found our apart-hotel. Great, that was easy.  Checked in and was told that the underground car parking as advertised on the website did not exist and we had the choice of parking outside the accommodation for three hours at time, or use the free car park 500 metres down the road.  We opted for that and abandoned the car for three days.  Ah, the accommodation.......quirky to say the least!  The coffee machine had apparently left with the previous occupiers and we had to wait until the following day to get a kettle (although we were free to help ourselves to boiling water from the breakfast room and carry it through the building.......good old ignorance of health and safety).  Other features of the room included bare wires hanging out of the lights; a lounge style lampshade in the bathroom; the only chair was so broken there was no chance of being able to use it; the pole to pull the net curtain was not attached.......and so it went on.  By far the funniest thing was the cooking arrangement – the electrical hob was in the draining board of the sink adjacent to the tap.  Hmmm, water and electric not really a good mix.  We chose not to use the hob, another example of continental health and safety at its finest.

We had a good time at the race and only laughed a tiny bit (well a lot actually) when the flag people managed to hang the German flag for the winning team upside down on the flagpole.  It was not rectified either and appeared in the motoring magazines the following week.  From Le Mans we headed to Paris for a couple of nights.  As regular readers will know, I enjoy driving abroad and it is usually an easy way to get around.  We programmed the satnav and headed off on our journey.  Now then, this clever gadget was set to take us the quickest route to our destination and apparently this involved traversing through the centre of the city.  We didn’t realise this until we were actually there......ha ha, it was an entertaining experience.  I drove past many of the major tourist locations (some more than once), up the Champs Elysses, under the Arc de Triomphe and considered picking up a few Japanese visitors to add to the tour theme.  We had to negotiate an enormous junction in the city with traffic in multiple lanes in each direction all approaching from various angles as they saw fit, horns blaring and to top it all off there were cyclists and moped riders travelling up the middle of all the lanes.  Phil (not being at all keen on travelling on the wrong side of the road) was beside himself (actually he was beside me), shouting, swearing and stamping his feet. As soon as we got as far as the Arc de Triomphe I knew where I was and we soon found the hotel.  For the next couple of days we relied on public transport whilst Himself’s blood pressure returned to a more normal level.  Our time in Paris was fun and was followed by a trip to Le Touquet on the way home where we stayed in a hotel literally on the beach. 
The day we were due home coincided with my Dad’s day surgery for a hernia.  I was back in time to collect him and when Mum and I got to the hospital he was sitting up having his dinner and laughing.  The room he was in was the same as Mum took over last year for her hip surgery, spooky.  He looked particularly fetching in his hospital frock; the blue in the pattern suited his eyes.  By now he wanted to leave for home, just one more thing to do.............have a wee.  Now then, when someone has not had anything to drink for nearly 24 hours anything they then drink is absorbed directly into the tissues to rehydrate the body, therefore no wee is produced.  Some two hours later after two pots of tea, two jugs of water, some orange juice and much exertion in the bathroom, a bladder scan was done to discover it was empty!  However he was allowed to leave as he was well in himself and was the only patient left in the entire hospital.  The actual leaving process took longer than it needed to as Dad kept interrupting the nurse, making jokes and laughing about strange stuff (anaesthesia is a marvellous thing).  Once we were finally given the go ahead to escape, Dad’s parting gesture was to walk down the corridor with the surgery pants on his head (until he was spotted by Mum who was not impressed).  Bizarrely Dad was wondering why his scar area hurt two days later............Errrrmm that will be because you had abdominal surgery 48 hours ago.

I have been enjoying the spell of hot weather and for the first time since I was a child have been walking around wearing shorts in daylight hours.  So far nobody has reported being scared at the sight and people do not appear to be running for cover when my lily white legs are on show so I guess I will continue.

Going back a few weeks to when Lady Thatcher passed away, my Dad was approached in the street by a reporter from the local paper and asked what he thought about her death.  Fortunately he was a great supporter of hers and expressed his views accordingly, had his photograph taken and appeared in the edition that week.  I am only glad that the subject matter was not immigration otherwise we would have had to post bail and the time between my blogs would be even longer.

Storks, seniors and chilli

It has been a while since my last posting but life has been rather hectic (tell me something new...) and time has flown by.

Summer seems to have been and gone over the past week.  It was nice while it lasted, the smell of charcoal from the neighbours antisocial al fresco dining wafted through the open windows, lawnmowers could be heard from all directions.......and now we are back to winter jumpers and gloves.  I got my own back on the people over the back that had guests shouting in their garden late into the night on Sunday by starting my lawn cutting bright and early on Monday.  Karma is a good thing.

Himself and I had a week in the Portuguese sunshine last month and stayed in a palace of a villa.  It was easy to get lost inside as there were so many rooms!  As it turned out, the owner also owned the one next door and lived in another even larger one further down the street.  He was rumoured to have an interest in a local restaurant too as apparently he directs people there.  I guess he is one of the success stories in the country’s failing economy.  We visited several neighbouring towns and beaches, fortunately managed to avoid the English abroad (easily recognisable by their purpling burned skin, tattoos on display and general loudness) and came across some interesting creatures, the largest being nesting storks.  On the main road along the length of the Algarve several locals had set up stalls selling oranges to passers by, very reasonable prices and fresh looking fruit.  Interspaced with the stalls were prostitutes selling their own home produce at all hours of the day, however judging by the speed traffic was moving past them I doubt if they were doing much trade. 

This holiday followed shortly after I reached my half century.  I have decided it is just a number and does not mean I am old (despite having had a stack of tests over the past couple of months for arthritis and rheumatism).  Sadly, others seem to think otherwise and I have been offered a Saga brochure, the usual incontinence products and a viewing around a McCarthy Stone retirement flat.  The jewel in the crown came last weekend when we boarded a privately run train and the ticket man asked if we were adults or seniors..............Thank you for that.

I have finally set to and made a start on painting the bedroom!!  The house is about 12 years old and this room is exactly as the builders left it so really it is about time to crack on and sort it out.  Still not sure how I am going to reach the highest points of the walls but I am sure I will find a way, possibly by using a small trampoline.  Along with this project I have painted my parents main bathroom this week.  Again I was told by Dad that he would do it.............however he ended up holding the brushes and roller between uses and only managed to get a small amount of paint on himself.  Not sure what the next room to do there is, but a couple of evenings work and it will be sorted.

The funniest thing I have seen in a while happened last weekend.  It was Dad’s birthday and we had a family lunch, presents, cake and that sort of thing.  One of his gifts was Russian roulette chocolate game consisting of twelve chocolate bullets, one of which was hot chilli flavour.  His face was a picture (actually a few good pictures!) when he sampled it and he has been entered for the national gurning championships.  At his most uncomfortable stage of the tasting he made the late Les Dawson look like Mr Handsome.

Ghouls, cooking and paint

Since the last time I put pen to paper we have had another trip to the seaside, more glorious winter sunshine, lunch out and a lovely stroll along the sands.  On the return journey we were caught behind an accident on the dual carriageway.  The collision had only just happened and was half a dozen cars in front of us.  It was particularly nasty, every emergency vehicle in the county seemed to be in attendance, including the air ambulance, and we were held up for two hours whilst the emergency services did their job (I certainly do not envy them).  What we found shocking was watching masses of people getting out of their cars from further back and trooping down the carriageway for a better look.  None of them were offering assistance, some were even photographing and videoing the goings-on.  When the helicopter arrived, people were getting their children out for a look.  What planet are these folks on?  Would they like to be gawped at, photographed (no doubt to be uploaded to social networking sites) and pointed at whilst lying on the road?  No, I thought not.  You ghouls should just be thankful that you were caught in the queue and not in the incident itself.  As for quizzing the police on just how long the road would be closed for........get real......they don’t have it shut for fun you know.  Did you think the seven land ambulances and five fire engines were just there for a day out?

Last weekend I sorted through the freezer and liberated several items that were past their use by date.  Some had been there for so long they were priced in guineas and carried the message “Good Luck to the Troops, best wishes Florence Nightingale”.  On the back of this clearing out I decided to break with tradition and do some cooking.  I now have six vegetable lasagnes neatly placed in one of the drawers.  I am guessing this is a better option than bulk buying lasagnes and other pasta dishes from the supermarkets in the current climate........I can’t say that I am fond of horsemeat thank you.

Here is a question for you regular readers.  Should I write my memoirs?  Having read several celebrity books telling their life stories, ought I have a go as well?  Difficult one really as various issues are raised.  Would it be ethical to only include the happy and jolly stuff?  Probably not.  Should I leave out people that I would rather not be reminded of but who were part of the story?  How many people might decide to sue me afterwards?  Hmmm......need to think about this a bit more I think.

Now that the better weather (ha ha ha) and longer days are approaching my thoughts are turning to decorating.  I have been in this house for nearly eight years and there are still rooms that have not been done.  My bedroom has a bizarre shape with a sloped and domed ceiling and lends itself to being painted white and marked out in large blocks to form an igloo.  There is even an arched doorway so this style is a possibility.  My parents have decorating to do too (although I expect I will have to do battle with my Dad over this and maybe tie him to a chair) and I believe a list is being compiled.  At least I sorted the trickiest area last year so the rest should be a doddle.  I enjoy the painting and can whip around a room pretty quick with my five inch roller, so let the revamping commence.

 

Dreams, snow and thongs

A happy belated new year to my regular readers (and any new ones who have found their way to my works of rantings) – I hope 2013 is a good one for you all.

Christmas passed without incident this time fortunately, nobody overate and my father resisted the temptation to induce illness by snacking on meat products that had been left out for too long.  We even managed to celebrate Boxing Day with friends on the actual day this time.  Santa did well with his delivery of goodies and the reindeer appreciated the plate of carrots that I left out for them.  They had all gone by Christmas morning.............although there was rather a large pan of sliced carrots on the hob. Surely there cannot have been a connection?  I will investigate further.

Back in the world of my peculiar dreams (amazing I have any at all really considering the few hours sleep I manage to snatch each night)........I did have to check the details with my parents and fortunately they were able to confirm that they were not moving back to Harrow, and my father was certainly not going to abandon my mother to go and live with Esther Rantzen.  Glad I got that cleared up then.

Prior to Christmas I placed an order with Jessops for a slide scanner.  I paid for overnight delivery and the following day the box arrived.  Excellent................or not.  They managed to put the wrong item in and sent my scanner to Southport.  This was the Thursday prior to Christmas.......by the time I had been lied to several times, promised delivery of the correct item the following day and so on, I eventually received it a full week after I had ordered it, having not been sent out until Christmas Eve.  With service like that is it any wonder they went belly up the next week?  John Lewis also let me down with their next day delivery........all the paperwork in the store I was collecting it from said it was there but it was somewhere else with the courier company.  Once again I was lied to time and time again and I eventually received it nearly a week late.  On the plus side they did contact me within an hour of picking it up and told me that a credit would be applied to my Barclaycard (sadly not for the full amount).  Why in this country do we put up with such poor service?  Customer service is totally lacking in many cases and with more and more retailers going out of business there should be a wakeup call from the survivors to pull their fingers out and get on top of shoddy delivery and rude staff.

The snow hit us last week and shows no sign of melting any time soon.  Quite frankly I had had enough of it after the first hour, particularly as 24 hours prior to this I had been skipping along the beach on the south coast and paddling in the sea.  Such a change in the weather is not welcome.  Snow belongs up a mountain in Austria where in fact my brother is heading this week for his annual skiing trip.  Perhaps I could bag a load of snow up for him to take as carry on luggage, thereby relieving us of some?  Just an idea.

With the current weather conditions I have confined my parents to barracks and am doing their daily shopping.  There is no way I am risking Mum’s new hip that was installed nearly a year ago and Dad won’t wear appropriate warm clothing most of the time.  I have been forced to threaten confiscation of Mum’s boots though as I have discovered she keeps popping out (along the icy path) to the bin........... Ha, try doing that with no winter boots on!  They are going pretty stir crazy though as they are used to being out and about every day.  This is the ideal time to crack on with sorting out photo albums, doing a bit of decorating, writing large cheques to their favourite daughter etc. but instead so far they have tried making soup in their new soup maker (it went down the sink), and sampling a large lump of Panettone (the garden birds are enjoying it instead).  Roll on the big thaw when they can get back to their thrice weekly trips to the nearest large town, where Mum can scuttle about doing the shopping and Dad can count the number of obese people eating sausage rolls whilst wearing vests with heavily tattooed arms showing, and bending over to reveal a grey-rather-than-white thong poking over the top of their chav jogging pants.

 

Pus, pictures and a pooch

Well then, it has been a while since my last publication but life has been rather busy.  Actually life is always busy, but it is a good excuse.

I finally got to the dentist and had the hole in my wisdom tooth plugged.  After the initial first three and a half weeks of pain after the filling went AWOL it sorted itself out and has been fine ever since.  However, the plugging reactivated the recurring abscess that has been claiming squatters rights in my lower jaw for over twenty years and I spent a few uncomfortable days with a square face and pus filled cavity before it exploded over the bathroom mirror.  Okay, too much information, but now you know.

One of my main hobbies is photography and I have around 17000 photos stored on an external hard disk............or at least I had.  For no reason whatsoever it went kaput at the end of last month and basically told me it was empty.  Aaaarrrgghhh!  To say I was beside myself was an understatement; however I managed to source a forensic lab with talented technicians who have managed to retrieve a lot of the pictures.  In this world of digital photos I thought I was doing the right thing by storing them all on a separate drive to the main computer.......my new way of thinking is to store them on about four different devices.  Fortunately thumbnails for all my photos are on the photo editing software, however as they are now not linked to the drive it looks like I will have to take photos of the thumbnails and download them......the quality won’t be the same as the originals but at least I will be able to look at them.  Anything prior to digital can be rescanned so it looks like the long winter nights now have a purpose with sorting, scanning, renaming etc.  Just goes to show that whatever you load onto a disk stays there even if you think by pressing the delete button it zooms away forever into cyberspace.  Of course Mr Glitter made this mistake when he took his pc in for repair.

I made a show of myself last week.  A supermarket visit was needed on a very wet and windy evening so we jumped into the car and headed into town.  Armed with goodies for the weekend we dashed back across the flood plain that is the local supermarket car park and himself dashed on ahead in a chivalrous manner to open the car for me.........I was hotfooting it with my hood up and head down and on arriving at the car I flung the door open and was about to toss the box of tissues (that I certainly didn’t remember leaving on the seat) onto the floor before leaping in to get out of the rain...........just then a very nice and somewhat bemused lady told me I was in fact getting into her car............  Well it was hardly my fault, similar style of car, interior lights on........okay the interior was pale leather rather than dark fabric, but hey, it was wet and I was in a hurry.

Shocking drivers continue to appear all around town, every type of driving offence from using a mobile phone whilst travelling; overloading the car; not strapping children into seats......there was one stupid woman who took the biscuit last week.  She was driving down a main road with schools up and down its length whilst using her phone and stroking the head of her dog that was sitting on her lap.  I am guessing she was either steering with her knees or had employed a small person to stand in the foot well.  What gets into these idiots???  I presume the biscuit she took was later enjoyed by the pooch.

Spain, pain and rain

Back from two weeks in the hot Spanish sunshine to reacquaint myself with the cold, wind and rain of England.  What joy.  The fortnight was great fun and kicked off when I woke up minus a rather large filling in my wisdom tooth (think half the tooth and you will get the idea) on the first morning away.  I don’t normally take painkillers on holiday but this time I had packed a couple of packs so eked them out over the two weeks...............some people might think that taking Panadol away for the first time was down to witchcraft, however I prefer to consider it forward planning.  Now I am back home I can’t get an appointment to have the gap plugged until November.  Ouch, ouch and thrice ouch.  I never did find the one that dropped out..............I guess it morphed into a midnight snack.

We saw plenty sights around Andalucia including some rather unpleasant female ones on the beach.  Good grief, in future please consider the feelings and sanity of the other beach visitors and  (a) do not wave your various body parts around for all to see; (b) wear clothing that is suitable for your age and body size; and (c) remove the brillo pads from under your arms and around the bikini line – the supermarket near the beach sells razors for this purpose.  Thank you.

The town we were staying near had a local fiesta towards the end of our stay which we went for a look at.  There was a fairground, all the children were dressed in traditional costumes, food and prize winning stalls were sited around the area and all in all the whole event was brilliant.  I have an aversion to fairground rides and will only go on the ghost train, so imagine my excitement when we found one!  We paid our three Euros each and hopped aboard ready to brush against fake cobwebs and hear ghostly whooooooo sounds...............hmmmm, the train in fact went around a circular track passing behind a board then back outside again several times, then did the same thing backwards before another couple of laps forwards!  No ghostly stuff at all, however it was so silly it was funny and well worth the financial outlay.

The locals had a celebratory church service then headed outside to carry on the theme.  This took the form of various flamenco teams dancing and singing in some sort of contest.  Contrary to the holiday brochures depicting such dancers, these ladies were generally over sixty years of age and some sadly were more pantomime dame than flamenco dancer, however it was fun to watch and certainly got all the watching tourists into the mood.

Local wildlife was in abundance around the villa and started with ants about an inch in length.  They scuttled about here and there before finally launching themselves into the pool and drowning.  Later in the week we met a large cricket, a lizard, some teeny tiny ants and some beetles.  Fortunately these were of the insect variety and not the musical Beatle species as had Sir Macca turned up then it would have been time to beat a hasty retreat back to Blighty.

I am currently sitting watching the great British weather at both ends of my house.  Out the front it is bright and sunny with blue skies, out the back the sky is black and about to rain.  Bizarre, and I have had enough of the cold weather already.  However, compared to the sight that greeted us on the run in to Malaga airport, we have it pretty good I suppose.  The area had been subjected to heavy flooding in the few days prior to our arrival and the land looked like a third world country with the amount of water and mud everywhere, crops ruined, villages under water and general chaos for those involved.  Once again I was reminded of how glad I am to live at the top of a hill (although the top of a hill in a hot and sunny country would be far preferable)........if I get flooded then the whole town will have already been submerged!

Adios amigos.

Fly on the wall, overpricing and special offers

Another week and another eye-opening fly on the wall television programme.  This time the cameras follow the emergency services in Blackpool and show what the crews have to deal with day and night.  The episode this week focused on young people..............well, what an entertaining bunch those featured turned out to be.  One 13 year old was arrested for head butting a police officer followed by swearing at him, which earned the lad a night in the cells.  The programme makers interviewed his mother who couldn’t understand why the police didn’t just bring him home “like they used to do to me at that age”.  Oh right then, that is totally acceptable.  Another woman (I use the term loosely) was arrested for prostituting herself under the pier in broad daylight with a group of young lads for a fiver “a broken fiver at that” she said.  This piece of loveliness claimed she didn’t think Blackpool is a family holiday resort – in fact she described it as a shit hole.  You can’t beat the education standards these days.  Chavs displaying their finest qualities – I feel sorry for the decent citizens of the town who have to live amongst these people.

Despite the poor weather this summer I seem to have a garden of triffid proportions which all need cutting and sorting before the autumn sets in.  How on earth can everything have grown so much without any sunshine?  The ground has been so wet over the past few months that I considered growing rice – I quite fancy standing in a paddy field to harvest my crop.  I made a start on the chopping at the weekend and have bizarrely given my Dad the go ahead to prune selected areas when I go on holiday.  Once more I will be trying to source some police tape to cordon off certain parts of the garden to try and prevent an unnecessary cull.............perhaps a local farmer has a spare length of electric fencing I could utilise?  Hmmm, must look into this further.

I had a reply from London Zoo in response to my email following the overpriced visit where the lack of main attraction animals was evident.  Apparently they have over 650 species on display, this includes hundreds of varieties of insects........who on earth wants to see these?  The response also states that “we do not advertise anywhere at all that we have these animals here at London Zoo”.....I beg to differ as the onsite maps around the zoo clearly show the camel and gorilla areas, neither of which were evident on the day of our visit.  The extortionate food prices are, apparently because “we do source our food from local, high quality suppliers and this does mean that this is reflected in the costs we charge our visitors”..........how can two sandwiches with not much in the way of fillings, two bags of crisps (branded, not locally made) and two bottles of soft drink cost over £14???  Sadly this is another place that is on the ‘do not bother to go again’ list.  The food prices at the zoo made Waitrose seem like a bargain store.

My parents are off to the Lake District for a short holiday with their wellies and umbrellas packed.  Plenty to see and do in the area and I daresay there will be a few amusing tales to tell when they return.  Twelve months ago my Mum couldn’t have entertained the idea of such an active trip but since her new hip was fitted there is no stopping her.  I am not entirely sure she will be scaling Scafell Pike but at least walking around the towns and doing some Christmas shopping should be okay. 

This week’s special offers via email...........a pack to help me stop smoking (bearing in mind I have never even tried a ciggie); the mobility scooter has made a reappearance; offers of payday loans with repayment rates in the thousands of percents; and finally, private healthcare – I guess this will come in handy for the vasectomy I was offered a couple of weeks ago.  I just love the total lack of research done prior to the send button being pressed on these messages.  I can hardly wait for the next crop to land in my inbox!

London, football and animals

What an amazing weekend at the Paralympics!!  Well in fact it was a weekend in London for the sport plus some sightseeing and with the 80 plus degree temperatures thrown in for good measure, two brilliant days were had.  First port of call was the Cutty Sark now that the burned bits have been scraped off and repainted.  I had been as a child but with the addition of a visitor exhibition it is a real crowd puller now.  However, the high entry fee was off-putting so we admired it from the outside and took a few photos.  From there we walked to the Greenwich Observatory (the hill was very long in the hot weather............) and stood either side of the Meridian Line (had to pay for the privilege of course).  After a reviving cake and bottle of pop we skipped down the hill and climbed aboard the driverless Docklands Light Railway to head to Stratford for the night.  I was really looking forward to a long hot bath to relax my muscles............however, we had been allocated a room with disabled facilities – no bath, just a floor level shower with no tray.  Hmmmm okay then, it was functional and obviously saves the maid a little time as the water flows across the floor thereby washing it, but I wanted to have a bath!!!

Anyhow, onto the main event, the Paralympics 7 a side football.  We were lucky enough to see Team GB beat the USA in the first game of the morning, followed by the Netherlands thrashing Argentina in the next game with a hat trick in the first 18 minutes.  Watching these guys playing quality football put the overpaid prima donnas of the Premier League to shame.  Each of the team members yesterday had some degree of impaired mobility but they played as a team; when they fell over they were straight back on their feet; they could actually do stuff with the ball like dribbling not just passing it from one to the other........the FA would do well to look at the high priced rubbish that is fielded every weekend and make some serious changes.  Sign up some of these chaps instead and the fans will see proper skills. 

When wandering around the vast shopping complex by the Olympic Park we kept running into athletes from many of the international teams buying souvenirs, having dinner or simply soaking up the atmosphere.  Everyone involved with running the event from the volunteers up to the armed services integrated with the public, little kids high fived the soldiers, people were smiling and joking...............what a great public relations display this was.  I wonder if the spirit of being nice will continue?

We took the Javelin train back to St Pancras on the high speed six minute trip from Stratford then made our way to Regent’s Park to visit London Zoo.  Having grown up in the London area, this was a favourite place to visit in the school holidays to see all the animals, have a picnic and learn about wildlife.  What a disappointment this visit turned out to be.  After being ripped off for the entrance fee (well it is Britain after all), in we went to see the usual main attractions at such a place.  However, there are now no elephants there (a zoo without elephants, what is that all about??), the many gorillas advertised as being on show were invisible either inside their area or in their outdoor enclosure (I am guessing they may have paddled across the moat surrounding their island and escaped over the fencing) and the camels were not being displayed as their current area is being remodelled to house the tigers.  That should be interesting if they forget to relocate the camels to an alternative place prior to moving the large stripy cats in.  An email has been sent to the zoo but I doubt anything very useful will come from it.

Good news though as I got home to find a letter from Silverstone with a refund for the parking fiasco at the grand prix this year plus a goodwill gesture for 10% off the price of tickets for next year.  As these have already been booked, the admin crew are arranging a refund cheque.  What a result..........perhaps I will be able to afford to head out to another London attraction now?

Carnival, the snip and Zanardi

Another couple of busy weeks have passed by..............I sometimes seem to be living in a whirlwind being blown from one place to another with no let up to pause for breath or to get any sleep!

Over the bank holiday weekend we headed to London for the family day at Notting Hill Carnival.  What a great event!  Having lived in the London area for 34 years, I had plenty opportunities to go but at the time it was often marred by high levels of crime and violence which was somewhat off putting.  In more recent years this has reduced a lot so off we went.  Anyone who doesn’t like very loud booming and bass based music would run a mile, but this just enhanced our experience.  Originally an exclusively West Indian event, the carnival has evolved to be a community project with all nationalities taking part.  The costumes were spectacular, the weather conditions very similar to the Caribbean and the streetside food and merchandise stalls plus a great atmosphere all contributed to a great (and free!!) day out.  Yes please for another visit.  How do I get to be part of the parade or travel on a float?

Regular readers of my witterings will recall how I am continually bombarded with offers of products aimed at more senior members of the community.  However, the spam mailers have excelled themselves now by offering me...............wait for it.................a vasectomy!  Actually I will hold off on that thanks as I am a bit busy at the moment, I have a couple of hours free next week if you can fit me in then.  Market research at its finest.

I am getting excited about my forthcoming trip to the Paralympics this weekend!  The weather is even due to be totally un-British with wall to wall sunshine and no rain forecast, hurrah!  The athletes from around the world have all shown great determination and talent in the various sports and I expect the football on Sunday will be no exception.  So many of the Team GB Paralympians are now household names and our medal total is creeping up on a daily basis.  I was particularly pleased to see that Alex Zanardi won gold in hand biking this week.  I used to watch him in his Formula 1 days and subsequent racing in other classes; however this was cut short when he lost his legs in a terrible racing accident.  Many people would have seen this as the end of their career, however within two years he was racing in Touring Cars, determined to carry on with life.  Absolutely bloody brilliant I say!

Having fancied something other than cereal today for breakfast I headed off to Tesco and purchased some juice and a pack of pain au chocolat (chocolate croissants in case anyone is confused).  Back home, I put two on the plate, settled down in front of breakfast television and took a bite.............never have I come across such hard and stale croissants.  They were impossible to eat and in fact I have the remainder of the packet contents ready to offer to the builders working around the corner in case they are short of a brick of two.  The best before date is still two days off.........these manky offerings have never had a best let alone a best before.  This only reinforces my continued preference to shopping in Aldi where the products are cheaper and far more palatable.  After all, most of mainland Europeans shop in Aldi, Lidl and Netto and they all thrive on it – they also save plenty money by doing so hence the influx of tourists to the UK (I bet they get a huge shock when they see the prices to get into our tourist attractions!).

Now on countdown to Spain, just need to count out all my saved two pound coins, bag them up and ask the lady at the bank to magically turn them into Euros!  Hopefully the forest fires from last week will be extinguished by then otherwise it might be a little tricky on the roads.

Mud, butterflies and festive times

Well then, here I am back from a brilliant festival weekend!  Loads of great music to listen to including the Levellers, Public Image Limited, Hobo Jones and the Junkyard Dogs, Inspiral Carpets (should be renamed Totally Uninspiring Carpets)............and many others.  The group of friends (old and new) that we were camping with formed a circular commune with our tents which added to the social atmosphere of our four days under canvas.  Once again there were many totally off the wall costumes to be seen around the site, hair colours that I am not sure would have washed out in time for folk to return to work this week and people wearing clothes that would be frowned upon if spotted in their local shopping centre.  I found a great pair of festival trousers in bright stripes with frilled trim around the knees..............think of an old fashioned bathing suit and you have the idea.

Despite forecasts earlier last week that predicted rain all weekend, fortunately we only had to endure this at the start, but oh Lordy, Lordy what a wet time that was.  From around 8pm the rain started and carried on until mid-morning the following day.  This was joined overnight by winds gusting so strong that I was expecting to be propelled, tent and all, into a whirlwind just like Dorothy in the Wizard of Oz (regular readers will know that I actually want to be Dorothy and get to make the bad witch melt).  As a result, the site was very muddy for 36 hours, rather like wading through treacle, but it eventually solidified a bit and was easier underfoot.  Despite the weekend being great it was wonderful to arrive home and step under a hot shower and wash off the ingrained dirt that had accumulated about my person.  I emerged some time later smelling of lemons and fruity shampoo.  However the aroma of chemical toilets and cow pats will remain in my nose for some time before my brain switches them off!

I have tried hard this year to grow my usual crop of fruit and veg in the garden but it has mostly been washed out or shrivelled up.  However I was doing okay with the sprouts until the white butterflies came to town.................my three plants are now a mass of stalks without leaves.  All efforts to prevent this have failed – I have cut the buddleia flowers off, swatted the little winged critters and even tried to encourage the cat to come out of retirement and chase them but still they manage to sneak in and feast.  Looks like I will be buying my veg from the supermarket this winter.........I wonder if these butterflies are being sponsored by Waitrose?  Just a thought.

Here we are in the middle of August, the schools have another two weeks before they go back and already I have found a local shop selling tubes of sweets labelled as Christmas Treats.  In the name of all things holy (which of course Christmas is) why on earth do we need to have to be subjected to December products this early in the year?  Christmas cards and calendars for 2013 are already on sale in the nearest large town and as for the capital city...............I was informed by a friend a few weeks ago that there is already a winter scene complete with snowmen on display in one of the prime London tourist areas.  Who will join me in voting for a ban on Christmas products until mid-November?  The Americans get their Christmas merchandise out once Thanksgiving has been and gone – a far better way of doing things.

Earlier this year there was a very bad car accident in town involving several teenagers, some of whom sustained very serious injuries.  The cause has been established as the fault of the driver due to his misguided thinking that it was cool to show off his poor driving skills to his passengers and he has duly been given a custodial sentence and a lengthy driving ban.  There have been some vicious comments made around town and on social networking sites about the driver and whilst I can understand that people wish to express their anger and frustration, they have not spared a thought for the family involved.  The driver’s parents do not deserve to be blamed, they were not behind the wheel that night and they have had to endure months of gossip and finger pointing.  The driver was to blame, he has to live with the knowledge that it was only due to the skills of medics that he did not face manslaughter charges.  Had any of the passengers had their seatbelts on then undoubtedly their injuries would have been less extensive.  Hopefully this will serve as a timely warning to all drivers, young and old, of the necessity to (a) use seatbelts and (b) remember that just because you have passed a driving test does not give you the right to endanger your life or that of others.  I hope this will be the case but sadly I do not think it will.

 

Olympics, roundabouts and clipping

Can you hear that?  The brass band sounding out a happy tune.................the conservatory is finished!!! Declare a national holiday in celebration, issue children with commemorative mugs.......it is done!  Whoopee, only four months to get to this stage, but at last no more visits from the window people and their subbies are needed.

Well then, the Olympics far exceeded expectations right from the opening ceremony through to the final evening.  Team GB restored our faith in sports programmes and brought to the forefront many competitors who until two weeks ago we had never heard of.  Medal after medal was awarded and the whole country was excited to hear our National Anthem being played. Roll on Rio de Janeiro in 2016 where I fully expect a carnival theme to be the order of the day.  Our only flaw was wheeling out Macca yet again with his dodgy hair dye, failure to keep up with the pre-recorded lyrics and generally not really needing to be there.  Have you heard his current accent?  Part Scouse with a strong leaning of upmarket American?  For someone who bangs on about his roots so much (place not hair) he is doing his utmost to not sound like a Liverpudlian.

This weekend I am off to the Beautiful Days music festival, camping out for four nights with nowhere to plug in my straightners.  Last year we had glorious weather, however the forecast for the whole of this week is rain so I imagine wellies will be the order of the day for the entire time.  Not so much Beautiful Days as Muddy Days.  I have some funky new Doc Marten boots in patent red so I can alternate between them and the wellies.  No point really in packing crocs this year or the carpet slippers.

Worringly there appears to be a new trend in this area whereby drivers re-write the Highway Code.  A prime example of this was yesterday afternoon when I approached a roundabout and the oncoming driver failed to give way to the motorist on his left, i.e. me, despite my signalling my intention to turn.  Even worse, he did not even look to his right before carrying on across the painted white circle.  Perhaps he thought it was a decoration rather than a road marking?  Whatever, people need to wise up more to what is not only common sense but in fact a rule of the road.  A much larger local roundabout is in desperate need of weeding as the brick paviors on it have weeds around 12” high growing and forming a small forest.  To complete the look, there is now a buddleia tree in bloom from one of the cracks.  Looks pretty but shouldn’t really be there.

I have managed to get into the garden during lapses in the rain to commence the early pruning of shrubs and trees and have so far managed to make a little headway with the task.  I am now at the stage where I need shears rather than clippers; however the only shears I have access to come with my Dad attached.......... Regular readers will know he has a unique style of operating shears in my garden (think barren wasteland and you will get the idea) so I now have a dilemma.  Do I wait until he is away for a day, nip up the road and borrow them, or do I casually mention that a couple of areas need two inches lopping off?  The risk with this is I am likely to end up with a hedge at ankle height rather than chest level unless I stand guard whilst the chopping is happening.  Actually that is still a problem as I did it last time and when I turned away for literally two seconds...........whoops, the hedge was chopped down lower than agreed and of course had to be levelled.  I fully expect to return from the festival to a more open plan garden as I will have no control over my gardener whilst I am under canvas!  I will of course get my own back by ordering a goat and two sheep to live in my parents back garden.

This week I have been keeping an eye on the weather for the area of Spain I am visiting later in the year.  It is currently 37 degrees with weekend temperatures due to be 40 degrees........oh to have some of that here!  Roll on my trip, even though it will be a few degrees cooler by then it still beats our lousy summer.  Adios amigos.

Filling jugs, grafitti and skirting

Whilst watching a programme recently about hospitals, I was reminded of a medical test I had to carry out some years ago whilst living in my flat.  To cut a long story short, I was having tests for kidney function and one of the procedures was to carry out monitoring over a weekend of my fluid input and output.  Simple enough to do as I only drink bottled water so the input was easy to calculate, however the output was a little trickier.  Had I been a chap I could simply have re-used the water bottles, however being a girly I needed something, shall we say, a little larger to wee into.  I went out and bought a large Pyrex measuring jug and carried out the monitoring.  Job done, figures noted and given to the GP.  Despite scalding the jug several times after the final use, I could never quite bring myself to use it for foodstuffs.  I had no qualms though about leaving it for the tenants who subsequently rented the property from me when I moved out of the area.  Well the prospectus did say the flat was fully equipped.............

Last weekend I was back at Silverstone for the Classic Car racing event.  It was a great two days, the weather was hot and sunny (cue more sunburn) and the grandstands had plenty of covered space.  As usual, I witnessed many examples of blatant ignorance of basic health and safety sense on the circuit inner roads (being on private roads seems to make people take leave of rationality), some of the ‘best’ being..........three people on a moped (no helmets of course); more people sitting in small sports cars than there were seats for them; and four children stacked one behind the other in a single buggy.  In the evening we watched Adam Ant performing on stage at the event.......since his heyday he has had a range of psychological issues but even allowing for this, his appearance and act were far removed from how I remembered him – he even forgot the words to Prince Charming.  No longer the dandy highwayman we knew back then, such a shame really.

The school holidays have finally kicked in and with it has come a wave of antisocial behaviour from a group of young teens.  Many people one night this week were kept awake by shouting and high jinks well into the early hours, a local shop had an attempted break in and very drunken teens were vomiting, urinating and doing other unmentionables outside my friend’s house during the evening of the final day of term.  A group of teens spent the night sleeping outside the local leisure centre and as for the graffiti that has appeared on the walls of the same building plus on the front wall of an old folks residential flats, well all I can say is these kids should be in summer school to (a) learn how to spell and (b) be reminded that some words are simply unacceptable in society.  Where are the parents of all these children?  What do they think they are doing when out till late?  We were all teenagers once but certainly never got up to anything like we are seeing now.  Once again there is a demonstration that some people have no respect or sense of responsibility.  Fortunately I know many teens that are completely the opposite of these hoodlums and would never consider behaving in such a manner.

Breaking news.................the conservatory is due to be finished this week!!!  Yes, the skirting is being fitted (allegedly) tomorrow.  Bearing in mind this has gone on for four months now, I took on the task of chasing up the works.  I tried over the weekend to send a fax outlining our dissatisfaction but it wouldn’t go through.  On speaking to the company on Monday morning I was advised that they no longer accept incoming faxes.  Oh how helpful and why do they still have the number on business stationary?  It was like trying to raise the dead getting hold of the manager I needed and in fact I never did succeed, however he called my parents to confirm works will happen before the weekend.  It does actually remain to be seen whether this modern day miracle occurs but I have offered to erect bunting around the room in the event of a successful outcome.

As I have been typing, I have received an email from Eurostar advising me of the timetable for the ski train service!!!!! Hello, it is July, the sun is out, it is due to be 27 degrees by noon, what are you playing at??