Rubber, window thieves and indiscretions

Rubber, window thieves and indiscretions

I had the usual selection of old age emails this week and did consider asking to try out the powered wheelchair as I felt it could be handy whilst waiting in long supermarket queues.  However in the end I decided to save this thrill for another day.

One bizarre email beeped into my box...............an invitation to a rubber ball.  A what?  Why would a little rubber ball need a friend?  Had it lost its bounce?  On reading further down the invite all became clear.  This was not a play date with a toy, far from it.  In fact it was a Rubber Ball........a dance for those participants dressed head to toe in rubber.  Details of where to obtain such items was usefully provided as were locations and dates of forthcoming functions for dominatrix weekends, various fetish events and bring-a-guest-to-join-us nights.  The MC for the main Rubber Ball is someone called (wait for it) Ophelia Bitz.  Think I will give it a miss, but thank you for the invitation.

The local police force posted an item on Facebook that made me chuckle.  They received a call from someone reporting their car window had been stolen.  They dutifully logged the details and later on reported the victim had called back to let them know the window had miraculously reappeared when they pressed the electric window button......................

I love the hoo ha concerning the gagging orders and injunctions taken out by the rich and famous to cover up their misdemeanours.  The old excuse about trying to protect their wives and families from unwanted media attention is a poor one.  Hello chaps, if you all kept your dingly dangly objets d’art within the confines of your designer undies then not only would these court orders be unnecessary, but you would also save a bit of money for a rainy day.

I was in Windsor at the weekend for a quick visit to the town centre.  On most previous visits Her Majesty has not been at home, but this time her Royal Standard was flapping on the flagpole indicating she was indoors.  However, she was unavailable to receive callers as she had a huge pile of ironing to get through following her visit to Ireland last week.