Huge clothing, chicks and odd language

Huge clothing, chicks and odd language

Another week and another marvellous internet offer.  This time I have been emailed by a company specialising in clothing for size 18 to 32.  Hello????  Have you actually done any research?  Obviously not.  Now then, I realise that my love for chocolate could be my downfall in clothing choices, however I currently have size 10 and size 12 skinny jeans, neither of which will stay up without a belt.  The situation is so bad that I refer to them as my self lowering trousers.  This first came to light last year at Malaga airport................have you ever tried pulling a suitcase, carrying a folder of travel documents, wearing a backpack and trying to hold your trousers up at the same time?  Why wasn’t I born an octopus?

Apparently there is a tennis thing going on in London this fortnight which gives rise to overpriced strawberries and cream, queuing all night on the pavement, the choice between sunstroke or getting soaked through and endless neck movements left and right (not a good idea for a neck like mine that is permanently in spasm).  Having been made to play this bat and ball nonsense whilst at school, I have developed a total aversion to it and certainly cannot see the attraction for camping out on a wobbly flagstone all night in order to get to the front of the line.

I have house martins nesting on the front of my house.  That is what summer is all about!  There are at least three chicks and the sound of them all chattering away makes me smile.  So what if they poo in a large pile directly under the nest.........that is just what the Tudors used to do out of the window only in greater quantities.

Update on the streetlight situation........the council have turned them off outside a school.  Have these people ever visited planet earth?  There is no reduction in the council tax for this lack of provision – surely this is obtaining money under false pretences?  Perhaps it could be construed as theft?  I will have to look into the legal implications of it all.  Find me a loophole and I will step through it.

The next holiday has been booked!  The original plan was to tour around Italy by train but this has morphed into driving around Slovenia with the opportunity to cross the borders into neighbouring countries.  The language looks interesting..................fortunately the Slovenes tend to be multilingual which is just as well.  They also have pizza restaurants so I won’t starve.

This is all.