I arrived home the other afternoon to find a card from the water board advising they had replaced my water meter (no explanation as to why, but I have previously had lengthy correspondence concerning the blatant way I am being overcharged, which of course they deny despite the evidence) with a helpline number to call in the unlikely event of a problem. Off I went to use one of my loos, flushed it, and thought “hey ho, this cistern isn’t doing what it supposed to......” as it was making all sorts of gurgling sounds. Within minutes, a stream of water to rival Victoria Falls was gushing from the overflow outside, creating a play area for passing waterfowl and making my new meter spin like a Catherine Wheel on bonfire night.
Needless to say I rang the water board, spoke to a helpful lady who advised various ways to stop the problem, tried them, but to no avail. She helpfully gave me a freephone number to call back on once I had carried out the actions.................hmmm.................no answer on the freephone line. I decided instead to contact British Gas/DynoRod as I have a monthly scheme with them for heating and plumbing repairs. I spoke to someone who I believe was in some shanty town in Mumbai, judging by the broken English and slight delay between each of us speaking, explained the problem but made the fatal mistake of saying that no disabled, elderly or very young person was residing here. This resulted in being downgraded to a next day call out, anytime between 8 and 6 (oh how very helpful, just listen to my water bill stacking up here) and “de engineer he will telephoney you before he arrive to tell you when he arriving”. Hmmmm, okay then...........what to do about the waterfall? Ah yes, disable the cistern by raising the ballcock (ooh err missus), thereby stopping the problem.
The following day I received a call mid morning from DynoRod’s office advising that the chap would be with me before 2pm. Well ok, this was a better time than ‘between 8 and 6’, but meant I was confined to base in case he turned up in the five minutes it would take to nip out to the shop. He arrived before lunch, yippee, but had left something vital at the depot.................his personality. With all the charm of a surly teenager and the enthusiasm of a sputum collector in a tuberculosis ward, he listened to what the problem was and set to work. After much banging, operating the toilet (more of my money literally being flushed away) and loud sighs emitting from the ensuite, he announced the job was done and he would fill out the paperwork. Apparently he has fitted a new part in the cistern................of this I am unconvinced, as upon having a look after he left, all the parts are still covered in black mould and barnacles. Not only that, he didn’t go to his van at all from start to finish and brought nothing into the house, not even a screwdriver let alone a toilet part. To be fair the water seems to have abated and the ducks have relocated back to the lake but time will tell if it is a permanent repair.
Later the same afternoon I received a call from the manager of the dental practice currently messing me around with appointments. I was advised that the second dentist I was due to see would now not be there on the date of my appointment, but........they have two more dentists starting work there and I would be allocated to one of them. She helpfully informed me that they are both fully qualified.................well I should hope so if they are being let loose on the paying public. The manager had a basic grasp of the facts previously communicated via the receptionist and by the time our call ended she had made a booking for me at a time to suit my requirements. There is of course no guarantee this will materialise based on their previous record of cancellation and shifting me to other dentists.
I spent the weekend at Silverstone watching the classic car racing by day and musical entertainment by night. The featured artists were 10cc and Suzi Quatro, both of whom put in cracking hour long sets, engaged the crowd and showed where a lot of the so called talent of today is going wrong. Suzi was dressed in her trademark leather catsuit and in no way looked like mutton dressed as lamb – people of Britain take note.............she can carry it off, those of you over 30 cannot.
Finally, the death of Amy Winehouse has given rise to much discussion over her lifestyle choices, talent, appearance and choice of friends. No doubt the media circus will carry on for some time yet as speculation about all aspects of her life are picked over with a fine toothcomb and newspapers come up with unsavoury headlines. At the end of the day nothing can change the outcome............Amy is no longer here, her family have suffered the loss of their loved one in a very public fashion with no chance of a private funeral service. The sight of her body being carried out to the undertakers van was tasteless newscasting without any concern for her family and genuine friends watching the television coverage. An inevitable death or not? Whatever you think, 27 is no age to pass away. Rest in peace Ms Whitehouse, may your demons all be gone.
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