With December upon us there are many festive lights and assorted garden statues appearing locally, Christmas trees are being decorated and the town centre is bedecked in lights attached to the streetlights (funny how they can find money for them but not for lighting to keep us all safe). The local Round Table started their charity collections last week and I was delighted to see Santa on his float travelling past my house waving frantically at all the householders. I was rather excited by this and gladly dropped all my loose change into the collection pots.
However, the very same evening saw the start of the season where the youth element find it funny to knock on the door and sprint over the totally dark field opposite in the hope that they won’t be caught. The local police want to be informed of these occurrences so I duly rang it in and within minutes there was a patrol car outside and the officers went to have a look for the perpetrators. No luck unfortunately but they did pop in to let me know what they are doing about antisocial behaviour and left a business card with contact details on. I used this opportunity launch into a list of my annoyances and concerns including the irresponsible drivers who use the wrong side of the road outside my house, the man who let his young child steer his car along the road...............and so it went on. I did mention that perhaps land mines along the driveway might be a deterrent and I wasn’t told that I couldn’t implement this strategy............... The officers were receptive to my concerns and bravely revisited me two days later with another business card with a job number on (they also quoted a list of the calls I have made this year to the control centre......). I am hoping to collect a full deck of these cards and am awaiting a Christmas card and invitation to their staff dance.
Talking of Christmas cards, I opt to make my own these days as the shop bought ones are either boring, unrelated to Christmas or just downright obscene. I do not need to see a picture of Santa using a chimney as a toilet thank you very much, nor do I wish to run the risk of buying cards the same as everyone else. The real meaning of Christmas has been buried in the commercialism that now surrounds the day, nativity plays are being replaced with ‘school productions’ and decorative street lighting has been renamed ‘festival lighting’ so as not to offend people from other faiths. In my experience, people from all faiths do something to mark Christmas in the same way that non-Hindus celebrate Diwali with fireworks and Indian food. Christian religious programmes whether on the television or radio are virtually non-existent...............is it any wonder that a whole generation of children is growing up thinking that Jesus is a character from EastEnders and the three wise men present the Formula One coverage on BBC1?
With Christmas television schedules usually showing a stack of timeless classics such as Mary Poppins, Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory, The Sound of Music and so on I always have the urge to sing along to the cheery songs, act out one or two of the characters and generally join in. One of my favourite films is the Wizard of Oz (although I was in my late thirties before I realised the characters actually played two roles in the film), however the way the gale force winds have been battering the country this week I actually feel like I am on the film set with the leaves swirling about and houses taking off...............well perhaps not that bit, but it is windy enough for the odd shed or two to be relocated into another garden. I can just see myself as Dorothy, I know all her lines, I could put up with wearing the gingham dress (for a reasonable fee) and I have bizarre dreams every night (such as the baboons that live happily in my loft side by side with a group of owls) – I am made for the part.
Can’t stop, need to polish up my red shoes for when Hollywood comes calling.
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