Post, St George and sandcastles

Post, St George and sandcastles

The workings of the postal system have, for you regular readers, become a source of frustration, anger and bewilderment for me of late.  However, the inefficiency now extends to the international postal system.  You may remember that on 29^th November 2010 I posted three parcels at the same time to the same address in China.  Two arrived together but the third did not.  This parcel stayed missing for nearly five months until last week when it was returned to me!!  Curiously it was marked up ‘unclaimed’ which considering no attempt was ever made to deliver it to the recipient was strange.  The parcel has now been repacked and forwarded to Spain for collection later this year when my friend visits her family (at a much cheaper price too I might add!)

My cold has just about cleared up after nearly seven weeks, however the cough still lingers.  I even resorted to a GP appointment for reassurance that I do not have bronchitis (after much nagging by my mother on the subject).  However, I continue to cough day and night, varying between a dry cough and a chesty cough depending on what medicine I take – instead of curing the cough, the tickly medicine causes a tickly cough and the chesty medicine aggravates the productive cough.  Whichever variety of cough I have, it changes every hours and I can feel popping bubbles when I splutter.  I was described the other day as sounding like an old kettle when I breathed too deeply. A little unkind, but I guess being described as an old boiler would have been worse.

If you fancy a patriotic day out next St George’s Day head for Nottingham.  The castle featured the right flag for the day and hosted some medieval events.  Later on, two chaps kitted out in Crusader outfits trotted through town on horseback, accompanied by the band of the Scots Guards (yes, I thought that was a little bizarre), marching bands and majorettes.  The town hall was dressed in an enormous St George’s flag and there were many patriotic souls (dressed in England football shirts) frequenting the local hostelries.  I expect they were drinking German beer, but hey, what the heck!

Disturbingly, I heard today that someone had gone to more than one branch of W H Smiths to purchase St George’s Day cards only to be told they did not sell them as the flag is the symbol of the BNP.  Oh for go0dness sake, whatever next?

Royal wedding fever approaches and I am banking on everyone being indoors as I will be heading down to the coast for two days.  No way am I going to be anywhere near the capital amongst all that madness with the risk of terrorist attacks, big crowds and overpriced food stalls.  By the end of Friday there will be litter knee deep and roads still closed.  No room at the inn for anyone unfortunate to arrive in London on Thursday or Friday without a prior booking.  Much like Christmas really but without the snow and Santa.  My bucket and spade will be packed together with flips flops and knotted hanky all ready to hit the sands.

Happy flag waving.

Sparse farming and even sparser post

Sparse farming and even sparser post

This week I took two children to a local farm which is often recommended by other people.  The leaflet describing the farm indicated there would be a large amount of animals to see and handle, we would be able to see animals being born (it actually stated ‘you will be able to experience seeing some of the baby lambs and calves being born......’).  In reality there were a few pens in the barn where people could walk in and stroke goats and rabbits.  No birthing to be seen anywhere.

The lambs were out of bounds for access into their pen although they could be stroked from outside – a case of handle those animals but not these.  Reminded me of Keeping Up Appearances when Hyacinth Bucket (pronounced bouquet) would invite her neighbour in for coffee and tell her to “sit anywhere Elizabeth............but not there.......”

No chicks or ducklings anywhere, a few cows huddled together and one horse.  Outside, the large field was mostly given over to a park and picnic area.  Inside the second barn was a huge climbing structure and cafe.  Most of the children at the farm were in fact using the play equipment rather than interacting with the small selection of animals.  Very disappointing and certainly not a place we will be returning to.  With a high entrance fee of £5.00 per child and £5.50 for adults it was not good value for money.  There were a lot of entrance fees being taken and all in cash Mr Taxman......................enough said.

Postal service does not improve.  Will be writing to man in charge this week as his minions have failed miserably to respond to my last missive.  Had someone knock on the door at the weekend to deliver a card which was correctly addressed to me. Sadly this was not a postman but an old blokey from two streets away.  Bless him, he trotted round on a Sunday as he thought it was important to deliver cards on time.  I wish I had had an application form for the Royal Mail to hand as I would have encouraged him to fill it in.  It goes without saying that the December post has still not reached me.

My neighbour lost her mother two weeks ago at the grand old age of 102.  Until two years ago the old lady and a handful of female relatives took an annual trip away for a week at the seaside.  My neighbour, in her mid seventies, was the youngest of the party!  Great to be so fit and active at that age.  I daresay the recently departed old dear is already organising a day trip to the far flung corners of the heavenly heights.  RIP.

Getting older, lack of post and webcams

Getting older, lack of post and webcams

This week I celebrated another birthday which was a good excuse for two birthday cakes, one for the family lunch at the weekend and another to entertain the after school kids.  Despite my best efforts at dangling over both cakes with loose hair, I did manage to avoid setting fire to the ends.

The arrival of another birthday caused the internet offers to go into overdrive.  Within four minutes of the clock striking midnight to signal the dawning of 6^th April my inbox was festooned with offers for a powered wheelchair with 50% off (does that mean only one wheel?); insurance for the over 50’s (hello, get your facts right, I am not 50 yet); various herbal products to relieve joint pain (not that sort of herbal); an offer for a retirement home (just what planet are these people on?) and finally details of a walk in bath.  I can hardly wait to see what I am offered when I do hit 50.

I accosted a postman in the street this week as he was stuffing his sacks into one of those holding boxes and asked if my missing Christmas post was amongst the mass of envelopes.  He told me he was not surprised that I am still waiting for post this far after Christmas as the Royal Mail is being run into the ground by the management, the staff are leaving in droves (yes, tell me about it…….…no end of different staff on each week with varying speeds of delivery) and there is still post in the sorting office to be sorted from pre-Christmas but they are not allowed to touch it.

They failed to deliver my electricity bill last month and I received a letter from NPower’s debt people asking for payment.  One swift call into NPower to find out the postage date and I have more evidence to tackle them with.  Two weeks further down the line and the original bill has yet to show up.

We have absolutely the worst (and most expensive) postal service in Europe without a shadow of a doubt.  I was so pleased to have to spend even more this week to post a card as the prices have gone up.  Needless to say, the Royal Mail have still failed to respond to my letter from February (could be lost in transit but I guess they just cannot be bothered to address the issues raised).

Baboons could run the customer service department more efficiently and they wouldn’t need to keep nipping out for a smoking break either.  They would also be more appealing eye candy than the current employees.  Think of the savings in the wage bill too by paying them in bananas instead of hard cash.

Perhaps I could renovate an old stagecoach and start up my own postal delivery service.  There is the option to carry extra goods to generate an additional income e.g. a few yogurts, newspapers, garlic to keep the vampires away during overnight travelling………….hmmmm…….I will give this some serious thought.

In this day and age of electronic mailing, webcams and the like you would think the Royal Mail would be doing all they could to encourage the public to use their service instead of the free and easier option of virtual post. 

I have installed Skype this week to keep in free contact with friends around the planet.  Brilliant idea……..until I saw my face on the webcam.  Perhaps the old age product invites were not so far off the mark after all.  Off to order some herbs, a walk in bath and powered wheelchair.

This is all.