Pus, pictures and a pooch

Well then, it has been a while since my last publication but life has been rather busy.  Actually life is always busy, but it is a good excuse.

I finally got to the dentist and had the hole in my wisdom tooth plugged.  After the initial first three and a half weeks of pain after the filling went AWOL it sorted itself out and has been fine ever since.  However, the plugging reactivated the recurring abscess that has been claiming squatters rights in my lower jaw for over twenty years and I spent a few uncomfortable days with a square face and pus filled cavity before it exploded over the bathroom mirror.  Okay, too much information, but now you know.

One of my main hobbies is photography and I have around 17000 photos stored on an external hard disk............or at least I had.  For no reason whatsoever it went kaput at the end of last month and basically told me it was empty.  Aaaarrrgghhh!  To say I was beside myself was an understatement; however I managed to source a forensic lab with talented technicians who have managed to retrieve a lot of the pictures.  In this world of digital photos I thought I was doing the right thing by storing them all on a separate drive to the main computer.......my new way of thinking is to store them on about four different devices.  Fortunately thumbnails for all my photos are on the photo editing software, however as they are now not linked to the drive it looks like I will have to take photos of the thumbnails and download them......the quality won’t be the same as the originals but at least I will be able to look at them.  Anything prior to digital can be rescanned so it looks like the long winter nights now have a purpose with sorting, scanning, renaming etc.  Just goes to show that whatever you load onto a disk stays there even if you think by pressing the delete button it zooms away forever into cyberspace.  Of course Mr Glitter made this mistake when he took his pc in for repair.

I made a show of myself last week.  A supermarket visit was needed on a very wet and windy evening so we jumped into the car and headed into town.  Armed with goodies for the weekend we dashed back across the flood plain that is the local supermarket car park and himself dashed on ahead in a chivalrous manner to open the car for me.........I was hotfooting it with my hood up and head down and on arriving at the car I flung the door open and was about to toss the box of tissues (that I certainly didn’t remember leaving on the seat) onto the floor before leaping in to get out of the rain...........just then a very nice and somewhat bemused lady told me I was in fact getting into her car............  Well it was hardly my fault, similar style of car, interior lights on........okay the interior was pale leather rather than dark fabric, but hey, it was wet and I was in a hurry.

Shocking drivers continue to appear all around town, every type of driving offence from using a mobile phone whilst travelling; overloading the car; not strapping children into seats......there was one stupid woman who took the biscuit last week.  She was driving down a main road with schools up and down its length whilst using her phone and stroking the head of her dog that was sitting on her lap.  I am guessing she was either steering with her knees or had employed a small person to stand in the foot well.  What gets into these idiots???  I presume the biscuit she took was later enjoyed by the pooch.

Spain, pain and rain

Back from two weeks in the hot Spanish sunshine to reacquaint myself with the cold, wind and rain of England.  What joy.  The fortnight was great fun and kicked off when I woke up minus a rather large filling in my wisdom tooth (think half the tooth and you will get the idea) on the first morning away.  I don’t normally take painkillers on holiday but this time I had packed a couple of packs so eked them out over the two weeks...............some people might think that taking Panadol away for the first time was down to witchcraft, however I prefer to consider it forward planning.  Now I am back home I can’t get an appointment to have the gap plugged until November.  Ouch, ouch and thrice ouch.  I never did find the one that dropped out..............I guess it morphed into a midnight snack.

We saw plenty sights around Andalucia including some rather unpleasant female ones on the beach.  Good grief, in future please consider the feelings and sanity of the other beach visitors and  (a) do not wave your various body parts around for all to see; (b) wear clothing that is suitable for your age and body size; and (c) remove the brillo pads from under your arms and around the bikini line – the supermarket near the beach sells razors for this purpose.  Thank you.

The town we were staying near had a local fiesta towards the end of our stay which we went for a look at.  There was a fairground, all the children were dressed in traditional costumes, food and prize winning stalls were sited around the area and all in all the whole event was brilliant.  I have an aversion to fairground rides and will only go on the ghost train, so imagine my excitement when we found one!  We paid our three Euros each and hopped aboard ready to brush against fake cobwebs and hear ghostly whooooooo sounds...............hmmmm, the train in fact went around a circular track passing behind a board then back outside again several times, then did the same thing backwards before another couple of laps forwards!  No ghostly stuff at all, however it was so silly it was funny and well worth the financial outlay.

The locals had a celebratory church service then headed outside to carry on the theme.  This took the form of various flamenco teams dancing and singing in some sort of contest.  Contrary to the holiday brochures depicting such dancers, these ladies were generally over sixty years of age and some sadly were more pantomime dame than flamenco dancer, however it was fun to watch and certainly got all the watching tourists into the mood.

Local wildlife was in abundance around the villa and started with ants about an inch in length.  They scuttled about here and there before finally launching themselves into the pool and drowning.  Later in the week we met a large cricket, a lizard, some teeny tiny ants and some beetles.  Fortunately these were of the insect variety and not the musical Beatle species as had Sir Macca turned up then it would have been time to beat a hasty retreat back to Blighty.

I am currently sitting watching the great British weather at both ends of my house.  Out the front it is bright and sunny with blue skies, out the back the sky is black and about to rain.  Bizarre, and I have had enough of the cold weather already.  However, compared to the sight that greeted us on the run in to Malaga airport, we have it pretty good I suppose.  The area had been subjected to heavy flooding in the few days prior to our arrival and the land looked like a third world country with the amount of water and mud everywhere, crops ruined, villages under water and general chaos for those involved.  Once again I was reminded of how glad I am to live at the top of a hill (although the top of a hill in a hot and sunny country would be far preferable)........if I get flooded then the whole town will have already been submerged!

Adios amigos.

Fly on the wall, overpricing and special offers

Another week and another eye-opening fly on the wall television programme.  This time the cameras follow the emergency services in Blackpool and show what the crews have to deal with day and night.  The episode this week focused on young people..............well, what an entertaining bunch those featured turned out to be.  One 13 year old was arrested for head butting a police officer followed by swearing at him, which earned the lad a night in the cells.  The programme makers interviewed his mother who couldn’t understand why the police didn’t just bring him home “like they used to do to me at that age”.  Oh right then, that is totally acceptable.  Another woman (I use the term loosely) was arrested for prostituting herself under the pier in broad daylight with a group of young lads for a fiver “a broken fiver at that” she said.  This piece of loveliness claimed she didn’t think Blackpool is a family holiday resort – in fact she described it as a shit hole.  You can’t beat the education standards these days.  Chavs displaying their finest qualities – I feel sorry for the decent citizens of the town who have to live amongst these people.

Despite the poor weather this summer I seem to have a garden of triffid proportions which all need cutting and sorting before the autumn sets in.  How on earth can everything have grown so much without any sunshine?  The ground has been so wet over the past few months that I considered growing rice – I quite fancy standing in a paddy field to harvest my crop.  I made a start on the chopping at the weekend and have bizarrely given my Dad the go ahead to prune selected areas when I go on holiday.  Once more I will be trying to source some police tape to cordon off certain parts of the garden to try and prevent an unnecessary cull.............perhaps a local farmer has a spare length of electric fencing I could utilise?  Hmmm, must look into this further.

I had a reply from London Zoo in response to my email following the overpriced visit where the lack of main attraction animals was evident.  Apparently they have over 650 species on display, this includes hundreds of varieties of insects........who on earth wants to see these?  The response also states that “we do not advertise anywhere at all that we have these animals here at London Zoo”.....I beg to differ as the onsite maps around the zoo clearly show the camel and gorilla areas, neither of which were evident on the day of our visit.  The extortionate food prices are, apparently because “we do source our food from local, high quality suppliers and this does mean that this is reflected in the costs we charge our visitors”..........how can two sandwiches with not much in the way of fillings, two bags of crisps (branded, not locally made) and two bottles of soft drink cost over £14???  Sadly this is another place that is on the ‘do not bother to go again’ list.  The food prices at the zoo made Waitrose seem like a bargain store.

My parents are off to the Lake District for a short holiday with their wellies and umbrellas packed.  Plenty to see and do in the area and I daresay there will be a few amusing tales to tell when they return.  Twelve months ago my Mum couldn’t have entertained the idea of such an active trip but since her new hip was fitted there is no stopping her.  I am not entirely sure she will be scaling Scafell Pike but at least walking around the towns and doing some Christmas shopping should be okay. 

This week’s special offers via email...........a pack to help me stop smoking (bearing in mind I have never even tried a ciggie); the mobility scooter has made a reappearance; offers of payday loans with repayment rates in the thousands of percents; and finally, private healthcare – I guess this will come in handy for the vasectomy I was offered a couple of weeks ago.  I just love the total lack of research done prior to the send button being pressed on these messages.  I can hardly wait for the next crop to land in my inbox!

London, football and animals

What an amazing weekend at the Paralympics!!  Well in fact it was a weekend in London for the sport plus some sightseeing and with the 80 plus degree temperatures thrown in for good measure, two brilliant days were had.  First port of call was the Cutty Sark now that the burned bits have been scraped off and repainted.  I had been as a child but with the addition of a visitor exhibition it is a real crowd puller now.  However, the high entry fee was off-putting so we admired it from the outside and took a few photos.  From there we walked to the Greenwich Observatory (the hill was very long in the hot weather............) and stood either side of the Meridian Line (had to pay for the privilege of course).  After a reviving cake and bottle of pop we skipped down the hill and climbed aboard the driverless Docklands Light Railway to head to Stratford for the night.  I was really looking forward to a long hot bath to relax my muscles............however, we had been allocated a room with disabled facilities – no bath, just a floor level shower with no tray.  Hmmmm okay then, it was functional and obviously saves the maid a little time as the water flows across the floor thereby washing it, but I wanted to have a bath!!!

Anyhow, onto the main event, the Paralympics 7 a side football.  We were lucky enough to see Team GB beat the USA in the first game of the morning, followed by the Netherlands thrashing Argentina in the next game with a hat trick in the first 18 minutes.  Watching these guys playing quality football put the overpaid prima donnas of the Premier League to shame.  Each of the team members yesterday had some degree of impaired mobility but they played as a team; when they fell over they were straight back on their feet; they could actually do stuff with the ball like dribbling not just passing it from one to the other........the FA would do well to look at the high priced rubbish that is fielded every weekend and make some serious changes.  Sign up some of these chaps instead and the fans will see proper skills. 

When wandering around the vast shopping complex by the Olympic Park we kept running into athletes from many of the international teams buying souvenirs, having dinner or simply soaking up the atmosphere.  Everyone involved with running the event from the volunteers up to the armed services integrated with the public, little kids high fived the soldiers, people were smiling and joking...............what a great public relations display this was.  I wonder if the spirit of being nice will continue?

We took the Javelin train back to St Pancras on the high speed six minute trip from Stratford then made our way to Regent’s Park to visit London Zoo.  Having grown up in the London area, this was a favourite place to visit in the school holidays to see all the animals, have a picnic and learn about wildlife.  What a disappointment this visit turned out to be.  After being ripped off for the entrance fee (well it is Britain after all), in we went to see the usual main attractions at such a place.  However, there are now no elephants there (a zoo without elephants, what is that all about??), the many gorillas advertised as being on show were invisible either inside their area or in their outdoor enclosure (I am guessing they may have paddled across the moat surrounding their island and escaped over the fencing) and the camels were not being displayed as their current area is being remodelled to house the tigers.  That should be interesting if they forget to relocate the camels to an alternative place prior to moving the large stripy cats in.  An email has been sent to the zoo but I doubt anything very useful will come from it.

Good news though as I got home to find a letter from Silverstone with a refund for the parking fiasco at the grand prix this year plus a goodwill gesture for 10% off the price of tickets for next year.  As these have already been booked, the admin crew are arranging a refund cheque.  What a result..........perhaps I will be able to afford to head out to another London attraction now?

Carnival, the snip and Zanardi

Another couple of busy weeks have passed by..............I sometimes seem to be living in a whirlwind being blown from one place to another with no let up to pause for breath or to get any sleep!

Over the bank holiday weekend we headed to London for the family day at Notting Hill Carnival.  What a great event!  Having lived in the London area for 34 years, I had plenty opportunities to go but at the time it was often marred by high levels of crime and violence which was somewhat off putting.  In more recent years this has reduced a lot so off we went.  Anyone who doesn’t like very loud booming and bass based music would run a mile, but this just enhanced our experience.  Originally an exclusively West Indian event, the carnival has evolved to be a community project with all nationalities taking part.  The costumes were spectacular, the weather conditions very similar to the Caribbean and the streetside food and merchandise stalls plus a great atmosphere all contributed to a great (and free!!) day out.  Yes please for another visit.  How do I get to be part of the parade or travel on a float?

Regular readers of my witterings will recall how I am continually bombarded with offers of products aimed at more senior members of the community.  However, the spam mailers have excelled themselves now by offering me...............wait for it.................a vasectomy!  Actually I will hold off on that thanks as I am a bit busy at the moment, I have a couple of hours free next week if you can fit me in then.  Market research at its finest.

I am getting excited about my forthcoming trip to the Paralympics this weekend!  The weather is even due to be totally un-British with wall to wall sunshine and no rain forecast, hurrah!  The athletes from around the world have all shown great determination and talent in the various sports and I expect the football on Sunday will be no exception.  So many of the Team GB Paralympians are now household names and our medal total is creeping up on a daily basis.  I was particularly pleased to see that Alex Zanardi won gold in hand biking this week.  I used to watch him in his Formula 1 days and subsequent racing in other classes; however this was cut short when he lost his legs in a terrible racing accident.  Many people would have seen this as the end of their career, however within two years he was racing in Touring Cars, determined to carry on with life.  Absolutely bloody brilliant I say!

Having fancied something other than cereal today for breakfast I headed off to Tesco and purchased some juice and a pack of pain au chocolat (chocolate croissants in case anyone is confused).  Back home, I put two on the plate, settled down in front of breakfast television and took a bite.............never have I come across such hard and stale croissants.  They were impossible to eat and in fact I have the remainder of the packet contents ready to offer to the builders working around the corner in case they are short of a brick of two.  The best before date is still two days off.........these manky offerings have never had a best let alone a best before.  This only reinforces my continued preference to shopping in Aldi where the products are cheaper and far more palatable.  After all, most of mainland Europeans shop in Aldi, Lidl and Netto and they all thrive on it – they also save plenty money by doing so hence the influx of tourists to the UK (I bet they get a huge shock when they see the prices to get into our tourist attractions!).

Now on countdown to Spain, just need to count out all my saved two pound coins, bag them up and ask the lady at the bank to magically turn them into Euros!  Hopefully the forest fires from last week will be extinguished by then otherwise it might be a little tricky on the roads.

Mud, butterflies and festive times

Well then, here I am back from a brilliant festival weekend!  Loads of great music to listen to including the Levellers, Public Image Limited, Hobo Jones and the Junkyard Dogs, Inspiral Carpets (should be renamed Totally Uninspiring Carpets)............and many others.  The group of friends (old and new) that we were camping with formed a circular commune with our tents which added to the social atmosphere of our four days under canvas.  Once again there were many totally off the wall costumes to be seen around the site, hair colours that I am not sure would have washed out in time for folk to return to work this week and people wearing clothes that would be frowned upon if spotted in their local shopping centre.  I found a great pair of festival trousers in bright stripes with frilled trim around the knees..............think of an old fashioned bathing suit and you have the idea.

Despite forecasts earlier last week that predicted rain all weekend, fortunately we only had to endure this at the start, but oh Lordy, Lordy what a wet time that was.  From around 8pm the rain started and carried on until mid-morning the following day.  This was joined overnight by winds gusting so strong that I was expecting to be propelled, tent and all, into a whirlwind just like Dorothy in the Wizard of Oz (regular readers will know that I actually want to be Dorothy and get to make the bad witch melt).  As a result, the site was very muddy for 36 hours, rather like wading through treacle, but it eventually solidified a bit and was easier underfoot.  Despite the weekend being great it was wonderful to arrive home and step under a hot shower and wash off the ingrained dirt that had accumulated about my person.  I emerged some time later smelling of lemons and fruity shampoo.  However the aroma of chemical toilets and cow pats will remain in my nose for some time before my brain switches them off!

I have tried hard this year to grow my usual crop of fruit and veg in the garden but it has mostly been washed out or shrivelled up.  However I was doing okay with the sprouts until the white butterflies came to town.................my three plants are now a mass of stalks without leaves.  All efforts to prevent this have failed – I have cut the buddleia flowers off, swatted the little winged critters and even tried to encourage the cat to come out of retirement and chase them but still they manage to sneak in and feast.  Looks like I will be buying my veg from the supermarket this winter.........I wonder if these butterflies are being sponsored by Waitrose?  Just a thought.

Here we are in the middle of August, the schools have another two weeks before they go back and already I have found a local shop selling tubes of sweets labelled as Christmas Treats.  In the name of all things holy (which of course Christmas is) why on earth do we need to have to be subjected to December products this early in the year?  Christmas cards and calendars for 2013 are already on sale in the nearest large town and as for the capital city...............I was informed by a friend a few weeks ago that there is already a winter scene complete with snowmen on display in one of the prime London tourist areas.  Who will join me in voting for a ban on Christmas products until mid-November?  The Americans get their Christmas merchandise out once Thanksgiving has been and gone – a far better way of doing things.

Earlier this year there was a very bad car accident in town involving several teenagers, some of whom sustained very serious injuries.  The cause has been established as the fault of the driver due to his misguided thinking that it was cool to show off his poor driving skills to his passengers and he has duly been given a custodial sentence and a lengthy driving ban.  There have been some vicious comments made around town and on social networking sites about the driver and whilst I can understand that people wish to express their anger and frustration, they have not spared a thought for the family involved.  The driver’s parents do not deserve to be blamed, they were not behind the wheel that night and they have had to endure months of gossip and finger pointing.  The driver was to blame, he has to live with the knowledge that it was only due to the skills of medics that he did not face manslaughter charges.  Had any of the passengers had their seatbelts on then undoubtedly their injuries would have been less extensive.  Hopefully this will serve as a timely warning to all drivers, young and old, of the necessity to (a) use seatbelts and (b) remember that just because you have passed a driving test does not give you the right to endanger your life or that of others.  I hope this will be the case but sadly I do not think it will.

 

Olympics, roundabouts and clipping

Can you hear that?  The brass band sounding out a happy tune.................the conservatory is finished!!! Declare a national holiday in celebration, issue children with commemorative mugs.......it is done!  Whoopee, only four months to get to this stage, but at last no more visits from the window people and their subbies are needed.

Well then, the Olympics far exceeded expectations right from the opening ceremony through to the final evening.  Team GB restored our faith in sports programmes and brought to the forefront many competitors who until two weeks ago we had never heard of.  Medal after medal was awarded and the whole country was excited to hear our National Anthem being played. Roll on Rio de Janeiro in 2016 where I fully expect a carnival theme to be the order of the day.  Our only flaw was wheeling out Macca yet again with his dodgy hair dye, failure to keep up with the pre-recorded lyrics and generally not really needing to be there.  Have you heard his current accent?  Part Scouse with a strong leaning of upmarket American?  For someone who bangs on about his roots so much (place not hair) he is doing his utmost to not sound like a Liverpudlian.

This weekend I am off to the Beautiful Days music festival, camping out for four nights with nowhere to plug in my straightners.  Last year we had glorious weather, however the forecast for the whole of this week is rain so I imagine wellies will be the order of the day for the entire time.  Not so much Beautiful Days as Muddy Days.  I have some funky new Doc Marten boots in patent red so I can alternate between them and the wellies.  No point really in packing crocs this year or the carpet slippers.

Worringly there appears to be a new trend in this area whereby drivers re-write the Highway Code.  A prime example of this was yesterday afternoon when I approached a roundabout and the oncoming driver failed to give way to the motorist on his left, i.e. me, despite my signalling my intention to turn.  Even worse, he did not even look to his right before carrying on across the painted white circle.  Perhaps he thought it was a decoration rather than a road marking?  Whatever, people need to wise up more to what is not only common sense but in fact a rule of the road.  A much larger local roundabout is in desperate need of weeding as the brick paviors on it have weeds around 12” high growing and forming a small forest.  To complete the look, there is now a buddleia tree in bloom from one of the cracks.  Looks pretty but shouldn’t really be there.

I have managed to get into the garden during lapses in the rain to commence the early pruning of shrubs and trees and have so far managed to make a little headway with the task.  I am now at the stage where I need shears rather than clippers; however the only shears I have access to come with my Dad attached.......... Regular readers will know he has a unique style of operating shears in my garden (think barren wasteland and you will get the idea) so I now have a dilemma.  Do I wait until he is away for a day, nip up the road and borrow them, or do I casually mention that a couple of areas need two inches lopping off?  The risk with this is I am likely to end up with a hedge at ankle height rather than chest level unless I stand guard whilst the chopping is happening.  Actually that is still a problem as I did it last time and when I turned away for literally two seconds...........whoops, the hedge was chopped down lower than agreed and of course had to be levelled.  I fully expect to return from the festival to a more open plan garden as I will have no control over my gardener whilst I am under canvas!  I will of course get my own back by ordering a goat and two sheep to live in my parents back garden.

This week I have been keeping an eye on the weather for the area of Spain I am visiting later in the year.  It is currently 37 degrees with weekend temperatures due to be 40 degrees........oh to have some of that here!  Roll on my trip, even though it will be a few degrees cooler by then it still beats our lousy summer.  Adios amigos.

Filling jugs, grafitti and skirting

Whilst watching a programme recently about hospitals, I was reminded of a medical test I had to carry out some years ago whilst living in my flat.  To cut a long story short, I was having tests for kidney function and one of the procedures was to carry out monitoring over a weekend of my fluid input and output.  Simple enough to do as I only drink bottled water so the input was easy to calculate, however the output was a little trickier.  Had I been a chap I could simply have re-used the water bottles, however being a girly I needed something, shall we say, a little larger to wee into.  I went out and bought a large Pyrex measuring jug and carried out the monitoring.  Job done, figures noted and given to the GP.  Despite scalding the jug several times after the final use, I could never quite bring myself to use it for foodstuffs.  I had no qualms though about leaving it for the tenants who subsequently rented the property from me when I moved out of the area.  Well the prospectus did say the flat was fully equipped.............

Last weekend I was back at Silverstone for the Classic Car racing event.  It was a great two days, the weather was hot and sunny (cue more sunburn) and the grandstands had plenty of covered space.  As usual, I witnessed many examples of blatant ignorance of basic health and safety sense on the circuit inner roads (being on private roads seems to make people take leave of rationality), some of the ‘best’ being..........three people on a moped (no helmets of course); more people sitting in small sports cars than there were seats for them; and four children stacked one behind the other in a single buggy.  In the evening we watched Adam Ant performing on stage at the event.......since his heyday he has had a range of psychological issues but even allowing for this, his appearance and act were far removed from how I remembered him – he even forgot the words to Prince Charming.  No longer the dandy highwayman we knew back then, such a shame really.

The school holidays have finally kicked in and with it has come a wave of antisocial behaviour from a group of young teens.  Many people one night this week were kept awake by shouting and high jinks well into the early hours, a local shop had an attempted break in and very drunken teens were vomiting, urinating and doing other unmentionables outside my friend’s house during the evening of the final day of term.  A group of teens spent the night sleeping outside the local leisure centre and as for the graffiti that has appeared on the walls of the same building plus on the front wall of an old folks residential flats, well all I can say is these kids should be in summer school to (a) learn how to spell and (b) be reminded that some words are simply unacceptable in society.  Where are the parents of all these children?  What do they think they are doing when out till late?  We were all teenagers once but certainly never got up to anything like we are seeing now.  Once again there is a demonstration that some people have no respect or sense of responsibility.  Fortunately I know many teens that are completely the opposite of these hoodlums and would never consider behaving in such a manner.

Breaking news.................the conservatory is due to be finished this week!!!  Yes, the skirting is being fitted (allegedly) tomorrow.  Bearing in mind this has gone on for four months now, I took on the task of chasing up the works.  I tried over the weekend to send a fax outlining our dissatisfaction but it wouldn’t go through.  On speaking to the company on Monday morning I was advised that they no longer accept incoming faxes.  Oh how helpful and why do they still have the number on business stationary?  It was like trying to raise the dead getting hold of the manager I needed and in fact I never did succeed, however he called my parents to confirm works will happen before the weekend.  It does actually remain to be seen whether this modern day miracle occurs but I have offered to erect bunting around the room in the event of a successful outcome.

As I have been typing, I have received an email from Eurostar advising me of the timetable for the ski train service!!!!! Hello, it is July, the sun is out, it is due to be 27 degrees by noon, what are you playing at??

Offers, Christmas and weeds

The Internet continues to bombard me with ‘unmissable’ offers on a daily basis.  The best so far this week include “Hot Dates In Your Area” (I don’t even like dates, they are always still sitting in the box in mid-January, complete waste of time buying them); “Jaw Dropping Jewellery” (sounds rather painful and unnecessary); “Free Solar Panels” (nothing in this life is free); “Your Free Slimming Plan from Special K” (thanks, but I will pass on that as it is actually a high sugar food) and more offers for credit cards than I could fit in my purse.  Still all these make a change from the usual offers for old age products and residences, although I daresay they will make a return shortly once the advertisers think I have forgotten them.

Tickets for the British Grand Prix next year have been ordered and this time we have gone even more upmarket for only a couple of pounds more than our pit lane grandstand.  I love early bird savings!  We have dedicated on-site parking behind the grandstand (very likely dedicated queuing too), a food marquee with chefs cooking all day and ‘other goodies’.  Now then this bit I am curious about........apparently it means we are given hats and other bits (hopefully better than a children’s party bag), however I am holding out for a meeting with one of two of the drivers, not fussed who, and a photo opportunity with them.  Our seats are in the front row so a good view of the proceedings and a car landing in the kitty litter is assured.

Now that we are in the second half of the year the Christmas adverts have started to appear.  This week I have heard one on the local radio offering bargain van deals with Jingle Bells playing in the background.  On the television the Christmas catalogues are mixed in with adverts for payday loans, bargain furniture offers and back to school uniform offers.  I was in a card shop this week and heard the assistant tell a customer that now they are in larger premises they can put the Christmas cards out this month instead of the end of August. For goodness sake...............the schools haven’t broken up yet for the summer holidays.

I read a posting on a social networking site’s local page this week where somebody was complaining about the weeds along the road outside his premises.  Granted the foliage was higher than the kerb, but in the time it took to take a photo of the offending plants and post it on the site with a comment, he could have pulled them out, job done.  With all the rain we have had over the past few weeks it is no wonder that the weeds are growing, but the local authority have more to do with our council tax than to pay people to pull them out.  Simple answer to this is if you don’t like them then bend your back and remove the green stuff.  In many other countries residents are expected to do just this, plus clear the pathways outside their property when the snow falls.  We are too fond in this country of passing the buck to someone else and failing to take responsibility for anything.  I will be armed with the weed puller once the rain stops for long enough to actually do some outside work.

The sorry saga of my parents’ conservatory rolls on.........bearing in mind the rebuild commenced in mid-March they are still awaiting the skirting to be fitted.  The chap arrived on the appointed day (an hour and a half late) but brought the wrong style of skirting.  He is due to return tomorrow and complete the job.  I am not holding my breath on this for fear of turning blue.  During the period since the work started my Mum has recovered from her hip replacement and was signed off by the surgeon four weeks into the works; I have had a week and a long weekend away; my parents have had two weeks away; the big bang theory has been proved; assorted decorating works have taken place at mine and my parents properties; we have had three family birthdays (April, May and July); and the trees opposite my house have leaves turning autumnal.  Another case of you couldn’t make it up.

Rain, Spain and pain

What a weekend............rain, a little more rain and even more rain.  Yes, this was the British Grand Prix weekend with wet weather, copious amounts of mud, some very wet looking campers and plenty of on-track slipping and sliding.  Two hours to get out of the parking field on day one, which wasn’t too bad considering we were only about five rows in.  Other people were not so fortunate and revved their engines so much they were soon embedded in the muddy ruts.  Thankfully we were able to park for the remainder of the weekend at a friend’s house in the village then take a short stroll to the circuit, making quicker time than the queue of cars and buses lining the service roads.

I stuck to the plan and did not spend any money on merchandise (a modern day miracle in the making).  One of the major teams had a waterproof jacket for sale – actually it was little more than a cagoule from the supermarket value range – at the bargain price of, wait for it, £149.  Thanks but no thanks. By race day the weather had amazingly turned the corner and the sun shone for the race.  This was in total contrast to qualifying day when the monsoon conditions caused the session to be delayed for well over an hour.  To pass the time, several rounds of the Mexican Wave moved along the grandstands and even the pit crews joined in opposite our stand.  This all made for an entertaining afternoon and the onsite presenters were so stuck for what to talk about that they kept referring to a mouse that had been trapped and killed in the Ferrari garage!  The track was so wet that Noah, a large wooden boat and a selection of paired animals floated past en route to some mountain or other.  Good result on the day though, with a clever move by Mark Webber to get past Fernando Alonso.  The crowd erupted into whooping and cheering..................all apart from the two Hispanic ladies next to me who took on very glum expressions.

Bizarrely my location was not all it seemed to be.  Now then, I know I was sitting in the International Pit Straight stand at Silverstone in Northamptonshire.  However, my iPhone has a fancy feature whereby I can log into Facebook and ‘check in’ to where I am and this is posted on my Facebook page.  I thought I might as well give this a go however all the options on the first day were for Valencia in Spain (spookily the previous race was held there).  This theme carried on all weekend, even when Silverstone was given as an option and I used it, the accompanying map showed Silverstone as being in Valencia!  The weather updates on my iPhone were for Valencia (oh if only it was 29 degrees and no rain here) and the time setting reset itself to Spanish time!  All changed each time I left the circuit but the following day reverted back to Spain.  I am presuming that the Spanish HRT Formula 1 team (whose garage was near to our grandstand) had not changed their data from the previous fortnight and it was morphing into the iPhone workings.  This is taking “Mañana, mañana” to a new level.

With all the rain my garden is starting to resemble a jungle and there is much in the way of pruning to be carried out.  Trying to find a dry hour or two is proving to be something of a problem so it looks like it will be autumn before any proper chopping can be carried out.  This of course coincides with my annual fortnight away when the garden is at the mercy of my Dad so I daresay the whole place will look like a starter garden once he has finished clipping a bit here and a bit more here “to even it up”.  I managed to remove a few straggly weeds today to justify putting the garden waste wheelie bin out for collection.  Note to self..............when gardening do not, I repeat not, pull out weeds with bare hands before looking to see what they really are.  Stinging nettles hurt for hours and hours afterwards.

A large fox trotted across my driveway earlier on.  Looks like Noah needs a stronger lock on the loading bay door.

Strange food, wet weather and decorating

During the recent excursion to Belgium, we ate in the hotel restaurant one evening.  On scanning the menu I came across hamburgers, fish and meat dishes then two choices that caught my eye...........”Fillet of Fawn” and “Kangaroo Steak” served with fries and salad. No, no, no, no, no, it is simply not right to snack on Bambi or Skippy.  This reminded me of an eatery we used in Iceland, great buffet choice (even for my selective (i.e. fussy) tastes), plenty of vegetables and hot food choices.  One item was on offer every evening.........Pony.  Yes, real Black Beauty.  Now then, I have no real affection for horses but eating them seems a little unfair.  The owner of the establishment was more philosophical about the situation, commenting “We play with them, then we eat them....”.  I didn’t sample Dobbin and the additional choice of Sheep’s Head Flan on the final evening was left under the heat lamps.

I discovered this week that the local secondary school has a vacancy for a Learning Support Assistant so checked it out online (never hurts to keep an eye on what is around).........the advert described the position in brief detail and unbelievably contained TWO spelling mistakes.  Excellent attention to detail (not) and sufficiently poor to discourage me from looking further at the job specification.

July has landed with another spell of wet weather (oh great) which doesn’t bode well for the British Grand Prix weekend.  Having been caught out many times at Silverstone with extremes of weather, we are prepared this time and have thick plastic sheeting and industrial clips to protect us from the elements as our seats are on the open side of the grandstand.  I need to dig out plenty of warm and waterproof clothing this week and keep repeating this mantra to myself..........I will not buy any merchandise this year, I will not buy any merchandise this year, I will not buy any merchandise this year....... The wet conditions should make qualifying and race day interesting and I daresay there will be a few major spins off the track.  Bring it on!

Well then, the homecoming of the holidaymakers arrived at the weekend and I made sure I was at the house ready to welcome them back via their shiny hallway.  In they came, we went back and forth unpacking the car, had a natter in the hallway, but neither of them noticed the glare which was so strong that sunglasses should really have been called for.  After an hour or so I pointed out my handiwork with the paintbrush and.................no telling off.  How bizarre and totally unexpected!  The decoration went down well and I have painted the newly plastered walls of the rebuilt conservatory this week.  In between all this I have repainted my dining room, walls, woodwork, doors and radiator over the course of about ten hours in total.  See Dad, it doesn’t have to be a major operation to get the brushes and paint pots out...............!!

On my parents return they produced a copy of the local paper from Northumberland which did indeed feature the photograph taken by the local reporter lady as we waited for the Olympic Torch to arrive.  Fame at last and it is a pretty good picture too.  I am in process of obtaining a copy of the original.................signed copy anyone?

This week whilst on the morning school run I passed a ‘private ambulance’ (otherwise known as an undertakers van) parked outside a local house, obviously waiting to remove a newly deceased person from the premises.  A sad sight to see, but I was astonished to see the two waiting undertakers laughing and joking whilst awaiting the go ahead to carry out their work.  Now then, I do realise that in every situation some degree of frivolity can ease the moment, but to be displaying this in full view of the household concerned (to say nothing of passing parents and children) seemed to be a little tactless.  I cannot imagine my late Grandpa behaving in this fashion when he was waiting to start the process of caring for somebody’s deceased loved one.  Perhaps this is just the modern way of doing things?

Sand, plants and taxes

Another busy weekend has been and gone, this time spent in Belgium.  Whilst the UK was battening down the hatches, stacking sandbags outside front doors and using up emergency stocks of food, we were basking in 23 degrees of sunshine, warm winds and taking in the sights.  We spent a few hours on the beach but despite being lathered in sun cream, still managed to burn and emerged from the sun loungers looking rather like radishes.  Half the problem was the wind.............much of the sand swirling around stuck to the sun cream and, to be honest, every time I touched my arms or legs I believed I was morphing into an emery board.  Talk about exfoliation.........who needs to visit expensive spas or salons?  Head on over to Blankenberge for a couple of hours, job done and a nice little trip into the bargain.

Further to the Olympic Torch appearance from the week in Northumberland, I have been reliably informed by my parents who are currently holidaying in the same area that the photo taken by a local reporter has appeared in the paper!  Several copies have been purchased and there is a website to order original pictures.  Fame at last!  Please form an orderly queue for signed copies (don’t all rush now).

Once again the England football team bowed out of the Euro competition by losing on penalties to Italy (great National Anthem they have).  Was anyone really surprised?  No, not really.  Most of the squad looked knackered from 20 minutes into the game so what little chance they had prior to kick off evaporated in their sweat.  Lovely.  We are now being told to rejoice in Wimbledon fortnight................ha ha, here we go again, more opportunity to be let down and embarrassed by our overpaid and overhyped entrants.  Roll on the Olympics.............at least we stand some chance of winning a few medals.

I have been watering my parents’ garden whilst they are on their jollies and all the fruit, veg and flowers are thriving.  The same cannot be said for the veg growing in my garden.  Despite my tomatoes being planted out at the same time as Dad’s, his are four foot tall but mine are about six inches.  No idea why, they all get watered and are sitting in the sun (when it appears), however despite my four plants being the runts of the seedling box they have flowers on so apparently I will be getting some tomatoes later on.  My runner beans are way behind Dad’s too..........I suspect sabotage by the vegetable devil and will have to lie in wait one night to see what happens.  Fortunately my fruit bushes are doing well so perhaps I should order some punnets in case of a surplus so I can set up a stall in the front garden?

Whilst in Belgium I clocked the price of diesel and petrol.  Now then, over here in rip off Britain we are paying around 5p per litre more for diesel than petrol and we just accept it.  In Belgium however, diesel was €1.37  per litre whereas petrol was €1.52 per litre.  There are many more diesel than petrol cars in use both here and in mainland Europe and we are constantly told that diesel is more economical etc......... I changed from petrol to diesel 18 months ago and am still filling up just as often and giving the government more of my hard earned money in fuel duty.  I have not seen any mileage benefit with the diesel so we appear to have been fed another pile of hocus pocus from the powers that be.

Adding to the theme of injustice, have you ever thought about how many times the same money in your wallet is taxed?  Take for example this crisp £50 note here in my dainty (if slightly sunburned) hand.  I have earned this and paid tax on it.  Now then, I am going to put this £50 into the building society to save some money towards another holiday...........when I get my end of year statement from the building society I will see that I have been taxed on this £50 again.  At the end of the year I decide not to take a holiday (unlikely I know) and instead choose to withdraw my £50 to put diesel in my car..........and hey ho, this £50 is now being used to pay tax on the fuel I want to buy.  So then, we are all paying tax on anything and everything, the government folk are rubbing their hands in glee (before taking their several weeks holiday over the summer period) and what do we, the general public do about it?  Nothing.  We are unable to break this cycle and each week more nonsense spouts forth from the mouths of those leading (allegedly) our country.

Apparently VAT in Belgium is 7% - does anyone want to buy a four bedroomed house with great views out of the front windows and a few sad looking vegetable plants out the back?  Comes with large bird dollop on the lounge window (top to bottom) as window cleaner gave up his round some time ago and the feathery winged ones are having a modern art competition in a Banksy sort of style.  I could put up with the emery board skin for a cheaper lifestyle.

Torches, glossing and fat

I was away last week in sunny Northumberland, my favourite county in the UK doing some sightseeing and catching up with family and friends.  We stayed in a holiday cottage literally on the sea front in a village where the wonders of the internet and mobile telephone coverage have yet to arrive.  It was certainly a little bizarre not being able to email and text but not any real problem – in fact it was good not to feel compelled to check for new messages!  On a visit to a nearby town I popped into a card and gift shop and on the counter were two local history books.  On the front cover of one was a photo of my late Aunty Thelma with her work colleagues back in the 1950’s!  No excuse needed to buy the book and read about the goings on from past days in the area.

One of the many highlights of the week centred on the Olympic Torch route which happened to be in the county for two days and we were lucky enough to run into a chap who had carried his torch earlier in the day at another location – he happily posed for photos and said he was not going to sell his torch on eBay (as so many others have done) despite the fact the runners have to fork out almost £200 to buy it in the first place!  We had visions of crowded streets and having to jostle to get a good view.........however by pitching up at the start of the route there were only a couple of dozen people as the rest of the throng had amassed at the finishing post.  As result we got talking to a local reporter who took our photograph and there is a possibility we may appear in this week’s edition of the paper!  After waiting around for forty minutes the great moment arrived...............the runner trotted past carrying her flaming torch aloft.................and then she was gone!  A young girl standing alongside us with her father summed it up well as she asked “Is that it?”!  So much preparation for a fleeting moment’s viewing.  The security measures in place are extensive for each town and police forces from all over the UK have been deployed.  In the short time we were there we spotted vehicles from five different forces plus the police helicopter.  All these officers need to be housed whilst away from their usual base..............I dread to think what the total cost is, but hopefully the whole Olympic spectacle will be worth it.  I am looking forward to watching the coverage but I do hope the BBC have got their presentation sorted out by then after their shockingly dire and downright embarrassing screening of the Diamond Jubilee River Pageant.

My parents have headed up north for their annual holiday and once again I have taken advantage of this to get the paint brushes out at their place.  After my last decorating venture there when I discovered just how hard it is to cover blue paint with pink, this time I have glossed the woodwork in the hallway.  All the skirtings and five doors took six hours in total and I am really pleased with the result – the place is shiny and new looking.  I have no idea what colour scheme the previous residents had prior to it being neutralised for selling, but I have come across splashes of yellow and brown which have been glossed over and hidden.  On my first visit to start the project I discovered a note in the kitchen saying ‘NO DECORATING’ and promptly ignored it in the same way my Dad ignores my requests for him not to prune my garden down to an inch high whenever I am away.  I daresay once the conservatory is finally finished (it must happen eventually) there will be some painting to be done on the newly plastered walls.  Actually I can probably fit this in before they get home and just let the builders work around it................

Off to Belgium this weekend for a short sightseeing trip and very likely the purchase of a product of two of chocolate.  I am thinking that perhaps the one Zumba class a week is not going to be enough to deal with the extra fat intake..........only a few months to go until I have to bare my pasty flesh on the Spanish beach. Hmmm, some serious chocolate deprivation is needed before then but it will have to wait until after my weekend purchases have been consumed!

Jubilee, being British and holy stuff

Sunny days are here again, la la la la la, la la la la, sunny days are here again!  After a week of gloriously hot and sunny weather we are due to have a cooling off just in time for the Jubilee weekend.  Hmmmm, not what Her Majesty ordered.  I meanwhile am doing my bit for being patriotic with bunting up, paper chains ready to make, cakes to bake and Jubilee activities with the little folk all ready to get going!  There are plenty of Jubilee events going on around town plus the coverage on television so it should be a good time and make us proud (for once) to be British.

On this subject, I watched an article earlier about what it means to people these days to be British.  The presenter was someone from children’s television who came to the UK from Afghanistan at six years old and considers herself to be British although she also keeps her Afghan culture with foods and costumes for festivals and the like.  All her siblings were born in Afghanistan apart from her younger brother who was born in the UK.  She asked him if he thinks he is British and he said he feels half British and half Afghan even though he has never been to his family’s original country.  Gives us some food for thought really..................do we feel British because we were born and/or live here and are absorbed in the culture or is it because we have been raised to be told “you are British”?

This morning I spent a couple of hours cutting the lawns, pruning some overgrown shrubs and pulling up weeds.  I took a break for elevenses and flicked the television on to be met with (wait for it) an advert for a Christmas catalogue.  It is May.  Enough said.

I went to my god-daughter’s first Holy Communion over the weekend.  The day was lovely, the weather roasting and the church baking hot!  Twelve children were receiving Communion and had spent the past year in holy classes to prepare for their big day.  Lucia did really well and was the last child to be done so had to hold onto her nerves for a little longer than the others.  Each child was presented with a certificate at the end of the service.  Lucia referred to hers as a poster and it has found its’ way to her ‘holy table’ in her bedroom.  Hopefully the power of prayer will make her hamster reappear sharpish as it went missing somewhere in the house on the morning of the Communion – it couldn’t have chosen a worse time to go on an adventure.

Following on from my rant last time about people doing other stuff whilst at the wheel of their car, twice last week on the way home from an evening stroll I was waiting at a zebra crossing to safely trot over the road and on each occasion cars failed to stop.  With eyesight that bad they should not be driving.  At least I had to presence of mind to wait rather than presume the cars would at least slow down when approaching the crossing.  Unbelievably, this morning one of the people who failed to stop nearly ran into me as (here we go again) she did not stop on a roundabout despite me having the right of way.  Perhaps she is expecting a prize on her third attempt to cause me bodily harm?  In fact all she will end up with is a visit from the local constabulary – madam, I have your registration number.

Last week a friend was gossiped about in the school playground by a couple of nasty sorts.  Without going into detail, they commented on something very personal to my friend loud enough for her to hear.  Fortunately she is a strong character and has many, many friends and is a far better person than these bovine creatures.  Once again it is a case of do not comment on or insult people when you know nothing whatsoever about their personal circumstances.  Karma is a strange thing and it will leap up and bite you on the bum when you least expect it.  I hope someone is selling tickets for when these two get their comeuppance – please can I have a front row seat?  The ‘ladies’ (I use the word very loosely) are easy recognisable by their warty faces, pointy noses and broomsticks.

Sunny days, modern churches and ignorant people

With another week of no decent weather to speak of, my waterproof coat has been getting plenty of use and the garden hasn’t had a watering can near it for months.  Allegedly this is all due to change this week with sunny days and temperatures in the mid 20’s.................I will believe it when I see it, although today bodes well with a bright and warm start to the day.  About time too.

The conservatory saga drags on and on..............two months into the project and all is now done apart from the flooring.  The boss man paid a visit last week to check on progress and he was limping badly from a recent failed knee operation.  He ended up leaving with one of the walking sticks my Mum had after her hip operation!  Well the hospital won’t take them back so at least one has been put to good use.  No wonder the costs to hospitals are continually rising if they don’t recycle walking sticks, crutches and other mobility aids.  Apparently it is due to hygiene reasons......so why not have a large sterilisation tank and pop them all in for a wash?

I recently attended a Christening service for the son of some friends.  The service took the form of a very modern approach with plenty happy clappy religious songs rather than hymns, the vicar was light hearted and made the service appealing to all ages.  The local congregation was made up of all sorts of people, a chap with tattoos around his face, various less able-bodied folks, children of various ages, but all had come together to enjoy a morning of celebration and togetherness (to say nothing of the buffet afterwards!).  Whilst some older people may feel that the church is deviating away from tradition, a fun approach is needed in order to keep the pews full and to attract new church members.  It does not detract from the religious side of proceedings (we were after all there for a Christening), prayers, readings and a sermon were still part of the service.  The order of service had a note to encourage children to play with the toys at the rear of the church and for parents to carry on worshipping even if their offspring were making a noise.  What a difference from other churches where congregation members are glared at if their child so much as sneezes.  This coming weekend I am attending a First Communion which I anticipate will be a more formal service but I could be proved wrong.

More and more often I am seeing people driving around town whilst using their mobile phones.  They are often so engrossed in conversation that they are oblivious to others on the road.  How can it  possibly be safe to drive with your head on your shoulder with a phone wedged in between?  Last week on a five minute drive to a local school I saw seven people using their phones when behind the wheel, two people smoking, one person phoning and smoking and finally, unbelievably, the star of the week, a woman brushing her hair (with a hairbrush) as she drove.  What planet are these people on?  What can be so important that someone needs to put people’s lives at risk rather than pull over to use the phone? 

Smoking whilst in the car with children is something that riles me.  I once looked after a child who arrived every day stinking of cigarettes as she was driven here in a car filled with the poisonous smog.  She had a hacking smokers cough at 2 years old and apparently there was nothing wrong with this according to her irresponsible parent.  Upon speaking to the health visitor at the child’s surgery I was advised that they were unable to do anything unless she was taken there by her parent on this or any other matter.  The local safeguarding children authorities were unable to assist too as apparently it was not (at that time) considered ‘neglectful or abusive’.  So much for protecting children and maintaining their health – red tape and bureaucracy working at their worst.

Rain, trains and dysfunctional lifestyles

Another weekend  of very wet weather which scuppered all my plans for days out – when will it ever stop raining?   I even spied a large wooden vessel floating past steered by a chap called Noah.  For some odd reason he seemed to have a large quantity of pairs of animals with him.  Whatever floats his boat I guess, who are we to judge?

In the interests of my sanity and to prevent me wanting to cull any bird who would dare to poo on my clean laundry, I do not have a washing line.  Wet stuff goes straight from the washing machine into the tumble dryer and hey presto everything is dry and fluffy.  This arrangement worked fine until last week when on my final tumbling session of the week....................nothing!  No way was I going to be able to dry anything so I had to resort to the airing cupboard (for the clothing, not for me to hide out in).  Anyhow I looked through the book of rules for the machine and it mentioned something about checking the fuse.  Just as well I did as the fuse had obviously overheated judging by the burn mark on the plug and the melted fuse cover.  This only reinforces why I never leave the tumble dryer running when I am out of the house.

I have been doing some research on pre-booking train tickets for our forthcoming week away.  For the most part it will be a driving trip, but the day we are planning to visit Edinburgh we are travelling by train for an hour to get there – saves the hassle of trying to find somewhere to park in the city centre plus train travel is fun.  Anyhow, I have managed to find return tickets (booked a month or so in advance) for £35 each return which is a pretty good price for travelling in rip off Britain.  As a separate exercise I looked at the prices for travelling from various points on the same main line route to Edinburgh and bizarrely the prices ranged from £70-£395 to travel from around half way along the route.  To travel the full distance from London to Edinburgh the price can be as low as £49..........explain that one Mr Network Rail.  By factoring in travelling from a station not on the main line, i.e. one where there is a change from one rail service to another, the prices can be as high as £600.  For goodness sake, I can go to Spain for two weeks for little more than this.  Why exactly do we put up with this sort of nonsense?  Give me European or American trains systems any day – cheap, quality service, efficient, on time..................need I go on?

The usual poor television programme choices did nothing to make a wet bank holiday Monday any more entertaining, however I decided to catch the end of a Jeremy Kyle show.  How some of these folk have the brass neck to air their business for the country to see is beyond me, but the three in a ‘love triangle’ on the show took the biscuit.  Girl A was moaning that Girl B was trying to get Girl A’s boyfriend back even though Girl B said she didn’t want him and was only doing this to annoy Girl A , although the boyfriend had been flitting back and forth between the two girls and playing them off against each other (are you keeping up?).  When Girl A was asked if things had improved of late in her on-off relationship with the stud in question (I use the term in total amusement as he was anything but a stud) she replied that he sometimes now cuddles her after their, shall we say, bedroom activities, instead of just going off to play on his PlayStation.  He has also started to bring her presents which is a new thing for him.  To quote Girl A, “he has been nicking bracelets for me from the pound shop”. What a great example of young people in this country today and I daresay an attitude that will be passed down to the next generation unfortunate enough to find themselves mixed up in these dysfunctional and irresponsible lifestyles where partner swapping in the normal thing to do.

Once again, will the last person to leave the country please switch the lights off?

Rain, birds and cigarettes

Back again after a bit of a gap cause by the lack of proper internet coverage.  The upshot of this is my original provider has been binned and I am now with another company.  Hopefully this new lot will be more reliable.

Latest from the hobbling hip lady.................no more hobble, no more sticks and she is scuttling around like a speed walker.  Absolutely amazing results in such a short time.  She has actually been fixed quicker than the conservatory, which, although up again has still to have the electrics, plastering and flooring done.

After the beautiful weather of March we have been plunged into days of never ending rain, wind and dark skies with the sun only appearing in the evening in time to produce a sunset.  Fat lot of good that is to anyone.  Various plans for the past three weekends have been totally scuppered, the National Trust tickets remain hidden away for use once it is dry enough to have a day out and winter waterproof jackets have made an enforced reappearance.  So long as this inclement weather vanishes in time for my forthcoming week away at the coast I will be happy.  There is still a hosepipe ban in this area as apparently we are in the grip of a drought.  I would like to invite the ministers in charge of water to visit my garden and see just how wet everything is.  Of course, should the various water companies bother to repair the leaks around the whole country (these lose us literally millions of gallons a month) then there would be no need for water restrictions, bills might actually go down and we would all be better off.  Admittedly we are in no way as badly off as many countries in foreign parts but the people there do not take water for granted and make sure every drop is carefully used, not left to run away in the safe fashion we seem to think is acceptable here.

The baby blackbirds in my garden popped out of their next a couple of weeks ago.  There are four very lively little feathery critters and they are amusing to watch literally establishing a pecking order within the sibling structure.  There appear to be three females and one male and I have had to break up fights between two of them on more than one occasion.  For such young birdies they have ferocious tempers and one will pin the other to the floor and start pulling at its feathers!  The male one is currently sporting a couple of long feathers sticking out at right angles but this has not stopped him from carrying on the altercation with his nest-mate.  Perhaps I should set my cat into the mix to liven things up a little and show them who really is the boss outside.

Several local supermarkets and petrol stations have recently been broken into and had their stock of cigarettes stolen.  Judging by the quantities involved the culprits cannot really claim they are ‘for personal use’ although I daresay this will be their plea when they are finally apprehended.  Of course if they engage a lawyer popular with the footballers and other so-called celebrities I am confident they will not only be acquitted of any involvement, but also be given their own television reality show.  As has been said before, there is no such thing as bad publicity.  Just ask Hugh Grant, John Terry, Wayne Rooney et al (allegedly and without prejudice of course).

Dream of the week feature................the house martins have returned early from their winter holidays and are very pleased to see me.  So much so in fact, that two attached themselves to each of my shoulders in epaulette fashion.  Once more, answers on a postcard please.