Howdy y’all I am back from the
trip to Florida and what a smashing time was had. The flight over to Miami was fine then we queued
for what seemed like an eternity to clear passport control. Our officer (more Hank Hillbilly than
officer) was far more entertaining than is normally encountered in the USA, he
cracked jokes, smiled and actually I think he had probably relieved the
monotony of his day by taking some controlled substance or other. Anyway, having successfully been granted
entry we headed to the dedicated area for car hire, filled out the forms and
were told to report to area six where we could choose whatever car in the range
we wanted! Well this was a new
experience as normally cars are pre-allocated so we hung around until one
appeared that suited us and off we headed.
By now it was 6pm local time and negotiating Miami and its wonders was
entertaining.......very unsavoury area near to the airport but we were soon on
Interstate 75 and heading across state to our destination. On route we stopped at a service station
which turned out to be at the edge of the Seminole reservation and sampled our
first pizza slice of the fortnight. This
was no UK slice, oh no. Imagine an 18”
pizza, quartered, and there you have it.
This was the first of three visits to this eatery and on the final
airport bound trip we saw the resident large alligator staring out from the
pond. There was a sign on the chain link
fence warning the public not to feed the reptile........amazingly the fencing
was only on one short length of the pond and the alligator could easily climb
out and go for a stroll. Imagine returning
to your car after using the foodery or restroom to be met by a knobbly creature
with staring eyes at the side of your car....... I digress, so onward with the
journey during which we drove through several electrical storms coupled with
torrential rain. We arrived at the
holiday house after dark, switched the television on and the first programme to
appear was classic British comedy “Keeping
Up Appearances”.
Over the course of the two weeks
we went out and about every day taking in the sights and visited several lovely
beaches, a zoo where I hand fed a giraffe, shopping malls and the Seminole reservation
museum to name but a few. Prior to
leaving the UK we had booked tickets and hotels for a couple of nights in Tampa
and Orlando to visit Busch Gardens and SeaWorld. Now then, we knew there would be daily tropical
showers and this was acceptable most days.
What we (and indeed the American people) did not expect was the monsoon
that arrived at the exact moment we located our hotel in Tampa. The deluge started at midday on the Monday and
was still going strong when we headed to Orlando the following day. As a result we only saw half of the
attractions at Busch and I was so wet (despite my very attractive waterproof poncho)
that I resembled Worzel Gummidge in a burka.
Fortunately the weather improved for our SeaWorld day and I was able to
stroke dolphins. Phil declined the
handling part and took photos of me hanging over the wall into the
pool.......he was really pleased (or not) when one of the dolphins decided to include
him and splashed its tail soaking him from head to foot. Being a real trouper he managed to shield the
camera so scored extra points for that.
The road-kill was rather
different to back here........raccoons, turtles, various birds and best of all
(well not for the creature obviously), the torso of an alligator being snacked
on by a black vulture in the middle of the road! We also spotted signs for a panther crossing
area but sadly did not encounter any.
Apart from the giant pizza
slices, every plate of food when eating out was way too big and as for the ‘small’
drinks, well they were 32 fl oz which is roughly two pints. I brought a beaker home from one of the restaurants
as I told the waiter nobody back here would believe me otherwise! There is a huge (pardon the pun) obesity
problem in the USA and this cannot be helped by the portion sizes, unlimited
free refills of fizzy (full fat) drinks and drive in this that and the
other. Even pharmacies have drive in
facilities. Cut the portion sizes and
get people walking more before the country starts sinking into the sea.
Medical adverts were plentiful on
every television channel, with products covering everything from Type 2
diabetes to heart conditions. The side
effects advisories were longer than the advert for the products and included
such gems as “should you take this
product you may experience severe side effects such as reduced mobility and pancreatitis
which could prove fatal....” I will
give that a miss then. It is a wonder
any of these items actually sell.
I previously mentioned that
himself was planning to have a go at driving in the USA.......well, he did! Actually
he waited until the final full day and announced he was going to drive around
the circle of houses where we were staying.
He managed to get around, narrowly missed demolishing our mailbox then
claimed “I have driven abroad.....” Hmmmm not quite what I class as driving in foreign
parts but it is a start.
The time came to bid farewell to
90 odd degrees heat and 95% humidity and head back to Blighty. Luckily we landed in reasonably warm weather for
the UK in early autumn which softened the blow a bit. I had no issue in either country with jet lag;
however I did spend much of the first week back stalling the car around town as
having got used to an automatic I kept forgetting to change gear.
Hey ho, first holiday for 2014
has already been booked. Have a nice
day!
