Carols, choirs and railways

Here we are, three days before Christmas and the weather has turned sub-tropical.  This time last year the outside world was a foot deep in snow with chaos on the roads and outdoor retailers making a fortune selling winter weather gear.  This year however the sun is brightly shining, the daffodils are poking through and I am even dressed today minus my trusty vest (which is usually tucked into my pants to prevent a draught up my back).

Of course this crazy mixed up weather sort of confuses some of my favourite Christmas carols, in particular “In The Bleak Midwinter” – no frosty wind making moan here, just the bah humbugs around us who carrying on making moan day in and day out.  None of this “’tis the season to be jolly, fa la la la la, la la la la” for them.

Last week I went to a local school carol service and joined in with the singing and jollities.  The church was filled to capacity and the choir performed as well as any group of festive singers you might see on the television (albeit it a rare event to have any religious programmes screened).  There is always the obligatory loud and off-key member of the congregation singing their heart out, but despite all the smirks and embarrassed looks from others around them they carry on regardless.  This is all part of the Christmas experience and I wouldn’t have it any other way (although why the loud and off-key singers always seem to stand next to me is one of life’s great wonders).  Every December I intend to attend more such events but time always seems to creep away before I have managed to fit any in.

By some miracle the post office have managed to deliver virtually all my post this festive season although last year’s missing items have yet to materialise.  I resorted to writing to the head of the Royal Mail, she conducted an immediate investigation into my issues and I eventually received a reply from my local sorting office.  I had to chuckle as they enclosed a copy of a letter they had written to me three weeks previously which unfortunately had not been delivered..........I despair of the whole thing and can hardly wait for the proposed price increases to come into force next year.

Talking of price increases, the rail costs are about to rocket again.  As a seasoned traveller who has taken trains extensively around Europe and some parts of the USA, I am always impressed with the standard of service, timekeeping and cleanliness of their rolling stock.  The prices are far cheaper than we are forced to pay and the service abroad is far superior.  Where are we going wrong?  Why does it cost so much in this country to travel short distances?  Why are there so many price options instead of just one fare to one place?  I journeyed from Interlaken in Switzerland via Zurich to Milan in Italy for around £9..............no wonder people in the UK choose to drive rather than use public transport (although with the price of fuel rising almost daily, driving is becoming a luxury means of moving around).

I have booked my holiday for 2012 already............the day the snow hit last week seemed like to opportune moment to sort out some sunshine to look forward to.  Viva l’Espaῆa, here I come with my bucket, spade and knotted hanky.

As I conclude my pre-Christmas epistle my thoughts turn to the big day itself and how it all seems to get out of hand each year with people stressing about every last detail and spending money they don’t really have in order to ensure that there is a pile of goodies under the tree.  Far better to treat it as a time to get together with family and friends over the course of a few days, have some food, play games, catch up on each other’s news and generally chill out.  Don’t worry about the presents for the tree..................that is what Santa is for, why else would he load up his sleigh and take to the skies during what is generally a very chilly time of year?

Merry Christmas to all my regular readers, hope the festive season is all you wish it to be.

Trees, snow and wind

December is well and truly upon us now.  My Christmas tree is looking splendid bedecked in twinkling lights and Shaun the Sheep is firmly positioned on the tree top looking down at the chaos around my room during a typical working day with under fives in the house.  The tree buying expedition took me to a nearby town where I looked at the selection on offer in two DIY chains followed by a local garden centre (where I needed to sell my right arm to afford their cut off tree tops).  I finally went to a local Christmas Fayre (pronounced fay-ruh) and bought one from a local entrepreneur.  He even knocked a few quid off as it wasn’t quite as bushy as his others.  It looks good and the cat seems impressed as it smells of the outdoors.  In years gone by I have obtained the festive tree from travelling folk in pub car parks, cash only, no returns, and always stacked on a trailer for an easy escape when tipped off by the lookout.  Okay, so the tree needles drew blood and the wood was, shall we say, “warm”, but I do like a bargain!

The first snowfall of the season has occurred although it didn’t settle too much and was icy and slushy rather than suitable for skiing..................  This does not detract from the fact that snow is not supposed to be anywhere than at the top of a mountain in a foreign country and most certainly not within a 400 mile radius of me thank you very much.

My area is due to have around four inches of snow tonight which does not bode well for the busy weekend I have planned.  Regular readers will know how once the snow hits the hill I live on that it is near impossible to get the car off the drive and head out anywhere.  At this rate I will be hitching a lift with Santa just to see sights other than a snow covered town.  The only benefit the white stuff will have is in lighting up the streets where the council have turned off the streetlamps this year.

I was caught out again the other afternoon in gale force winds which just about blew my eyelashes inside out.  We are becoming more used to extremes of weather in the UK and these strong winds, although not quite along the lines of the hurricanes and tornadoes suffered in other places around the world, are enough to cause travel delays, damage to buildings and general mayhem.  Those of us with unruly hair do not relish these 65mph gusts...............I returned from the school run looking like Worzel Gummidge’s elderly aunt.  Not a good look.

Festive lighting, business cards and Dorothy

With December upon us there are many festive lights and assorted garden statues appearing locally, Christmas trees are being decorated and the town centre is bedecked in lights attached to the streetlights (funny how they can find money for them but not for lighting to keep us all safe).  The local Round Table started their charity collections last week and I was delighted to see Santa on his float travelling past my house waving frantically at all the householders.  I was rather excited by this and gladly dropped all my loose change into the collection pots.

However, the very same evening saw the start of the season where the youth element find it funny to knock on the door and sprint over the totally dark field opposite in the hope that they won’t be caught.  The local police want to be informed of these occurrences so I duly rang it in and within minutes there was a patrol car outside and the officers went to have a look for the perpetrators.  No luck unfortunately but they did pop in to let me know what they are doing about antisocial behaviour and left a business card with contact details on.  I used this opportunity launch into a list of my annoyances and concerns including the irresponsible drivers who use the wrong side of the road outside my house, the man who let his young child steer his car along the road...............and so it went on.  I did mention that perhaps land mines along the driveway might be a deterrent and I wasn’t told that I couldn’t implement this strategy...............  The officers were receptive to my concerns and bravely revisited me two days later with another business card with a job number on (they also quoted a list of the calls I have made this year to the control centre......).  I am hoping to collect a full deck of these cards and am awaiting a Christmas card and invitation to their staff dance.

Talking of Christmas cards, I opt to make my own these days as the shop bought ones are either boring, unrelated to Christmas or just downright obscene.  I do not need to see a picture of Santa using a chimney as a toilet thank you very much, nor do I wish to run the risk of buying cards the same as everyone else.  The real meaning of Christmas has been buried in the commercialism that now surrounds the day, nativity plays are being replaced with ‘school productions’ and decorative street lighting has been renamed ‘festival lighting’ so as not to offend people from other faiths.  In my experience, people from all faiths do something to mark Christmas in the same way that non-Hindus celebrate Diwali with fireworks and Indian food.  Christian religious programmes whether on the television or radio are virtually non-existent...............is it any wonder that a whole generation of children is growing up thinking that Jesus is a character from EastEnders and the three wise men present the Formula One coverage on BBC1?

With Christmas television schedules usually showing a stack of timeless classics such as Mary Poppins, Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory, The Sound of Music and so on I always have the urge to sing along to the cheery songs, act out one or two of the characters and generally join in.  One of my favourite films is the Wizard of Oz (although I was in my late thirties before I realised the characters actually played two roles in the film), however the way the gale force winds have been battering the country this week I actually feel like I am on the film set with the leaves swirling about and houses taking off...............well perhaps not that bit, but it is windy enough for the odd shed or two to be relocated into another garden.  I can just see myself as Dorothy, I know all her lines, I could put up with wearing the gingham dress (for a reasonable fee) and I have bizarre dreams every night (such as the baboons that live happily in my loft side by side with a group of owls) – I am made for the part.

Can’t stop, need to polish up my red shoes for when Hollywood comes calling.

BBC, queuing and champagne amusement

Regular readers will know of my love for motor sport and how the British Grand Prix is on my planner year after year with tickets bought for the following year around four hours after the current race has finished.  The television coverage over the years has been variable with advert breaks during ITV’s contract and lots of pre-race chat from the three stooges over the past few years when the BBC screened the events.  Incidentally, did you know David Coulthard moisturises his face in the pit lane prior to being filmed (I have photos of this!)?  Anyway, I digress...........from 2012 the BBC have sold out half the races to Sky therefore we loyal viewers on terrestrial television will only be able to watch 10 races live with highlights of the others later in the day (by which time the results will have been bandied about and there will be no surprises).  Bizarrely the first two races of the season fall into the highlights category which seems strange as certainly the Australian GP is always a big event by virtue of kicking off the season.  I got rid of Sky some time ago as there is little point in paying for far too many repeat and frankly crap channels showing everything from football matches in the 1970’s to shows demonstrating how to cover a loo roll in glitter.

I am left with two choices, either to put up with the BBC’s lack of coverage (which of course as a television licence payer I had expected to be able to watch all races live) or re-subscribe to Sky at an extortionate rate for their sports channel.  A third option of course would be to follow the racing around the world but unless I win a substantial amount on the Lotto this will remain a dream (perhaps I could write to McLaren and say I should travel with them based on the amount of money I have spent on their merchandise over the past few years?  Hmmm, there’s a thought).  Whichever option I decide upon will not be a satisfactory result.  What amazed me was the BBC claimed they wanted to reduce the F1 coverage to concentrate on other major sporting events such as the 2012 Olympics..............on looking at the F1 and Olympic calendars, only one F1 race is during the Olympics as August is the drivers rest month.  You couldn’t make it up.

Perhaps the TV licence should be based on only paying for what you actually watch?  In that case I would only be paying for the motor sport as I cannot think of anything else I actually watch on the BBC.

The Christmas shopping silly season is in full swing and I have been on an expedition with my Mum to try and make some headway with the remaining gifts I need to buy.  We went to a local shopping village where despite there being around one hundred outlets to choose from, there was only one shop that had anything close to what was on the list.  We had more success on the way home when we called into a couple of other shops and I managed to choose two of my own gifts!  I love the element of surprise.  Highlight of the day was spotting a group of oriental folk at the village scurrying towards the shoe shops with large, empty suitcases to carry their goodies home in.  Having bumped into a friend who is from the local Exclusive Brethren community and hearing that they don’t celebrate Christmas (they have a family time week instead) I can see the sense behind belonging to an alternative branch of religion................no queues, no stress about getting the right gifts for the right people, a huge saving on postage...............the list goes on.  Having said that, I would miss the annual event of watching my Mum trying to make custard on Christmas Day after downing a couple of glasses of champagne.  Perhaps I will stick to tradition and join the queues a little earlier next year.  Ho, ho, ho!