Animals, owners and lack of respect

Animals, owners and lack of respect

It is often reported that we Brits are a nation of animal lovers.  This is something I can identify with as a cat owner, frog rescuer and hedgehog over-winter carer.  However, one thing that really tries my patience is the dog owner who almost daily trots past with a small terrier and allows the mutt to wee up against my fence.  Do I wee up against the dog owner’s fence?  No, I most certainly do not and nor do I intend to take this up as a hobby.  In any case, being a member of the female species it is infinitely more bother to wee outdoors bearing in mind the various layers to be removed to prevent wet trousers or rivers down the inside leg.  Why does this person believe she has a right to use my fence post for her dog’s bladder activities?  Does she pay me a rent for the post? No.  Does she ever attempt to drag the dog away or mop up the yellow peril? No.  Does she ever look embarrassed? No.

Short of electrifying the fence (too time consuming and expensive) what can I do to prevent it?  Speak to my vet friend about sewing the dog’s urethra closed?  Take the fence down?  Sprinkle the area with hot chilli pepper (dog walks on area, licks feet later, goes through roof....)?  None of these solutions are workable.  The only option is to confront the owner...............hmm.........right then, it looks like some serious gardening out in the front garden is needed at a time to coincide with the pooch being paraded around the street.  Ok it may look strange being gloved up with trowel in hand at breakfast time but it must be worth a try.  Watch this space.

Why is it deemed acceptable practice to leave a pile of dog poo near to the dog poo bin?  How much effort does it take to bag it and put it in the bin next to the steaming pile?  What happened to having respect in this country for our surroundings?  Bring in Singapore laws - that will shake these people up.  I am grateful that my cat uses her litter tray and not my garden........poo appears, is picked up with loo roll and flushed away. Seeeemples!

My cat is off to the cat dentist this week.  She had a worming tablet at the weekend (something she hates with a passion) and instead of spitting it straight out, she spat a canine out instead.  Root removal and a descale and polish lined up for her on Friday.  Cat dental work makes private dentistry for owners look reasonably priced. 

Having said that, I have now booked to go to a different NHS (yes really, a surgery still taking NHS patients!!) dentist in a few weeks time.  Despite the six lengthy appointments for root canal work at the end of 2010, the tooth has lost another bit and I really cannot be bothered to sit through another six sessions with the chap who, although a pleasant enough dentist, announced he does not specialise in root canal work which is why it takes him so long........Surely it cannot be too tricky?  Drill, stick rod in, drill a bit more, stick rod in, fill gap, job done. 

Still no sign of the missing post and no reply from the Royal Mail to my letter.  I guess it is lost in the post.

Census time again (or plain nosiness by another name)

Census time again (or plain nosiness by another name)

Well, the time has come around again to complete the National Census (or Household Questionnaire as it is headed).  Today’s postman staggered up the path with an armful of purple and white envelopes, complaining about how heavy they were.  I was somewhat bemused at this as there are only four houses on this stretch of the street and he had to reload his bike basket with the spare ones.  Hey ho, perhaps he was trying to be macho.................or just plain daft.  My original hopes that he was staggering under the weight of my still missing Christmas post were dashed again.

Anyway, since the last census times have progressed and there was an online submission option.  Excellent!  I sat down, filled in the required boxes and it took all of six minutes to complete.  However, their flaw in the plan is, unlike online tax forms, you cannot obtain a copy of what you have admitted to, you simply get a confirmation number that you have completed the form.  There is no way back, the form cannot be amended once submitted so anyone who has made omissions has to live with it.  In any case, who is going to check that the information is correct?  I was tempted to state my ethnicity as Gypsy or Irish Traveller just for the fun of it and also to make future relatives question their heritage when tracing the family tree............ However I was sensible and gave the true information.  In any case I am nowhere near wealthy enough to be a Traveller, having seen on the recent Channel 4 documentary series how much they spend, in cash of course, on anything and everything they want.  Perhaps I should look into retraining as a tarmac layer.

I love some of the census questions:-

Question H1 – Who usually lives here? No option for ‘a load of squatters’.

Question H4 – Who else is staying overnight here on 27 March 2011?  Unless I get my tea leaves, crystal ball and runes out, how would I know for sure?

Question 2 (Individual Questions) – What is your sex? Only two options here.  No provision for eunuchs, people going through gender reassignment, those who are born with two sets of sex organs.

Question 31 – Have you ever worked?  This is included for the lazy sods amongst us who appear on the Jeremy Kyle Show to brag about spending their dole money on cannabis, drink and cigs but cannot be bothered to get up off their backsides and look for work.

Question 41 – How do you usually travel to work?  There was no option for ‘I walk down the stairs’.

My long term plan is now to obtain employment compiling the next census form with questions that are useful to the local community, name the criminal fraternity and dodgy MP’s with inflated expense accounts and are published for all to see.  Data Protection Act?  What is all that about then?  Perhaps there could be a section for providing tasty and easy recipes to assist reluctant (make that very reluctant) cooks like me.  How about a question asking who knows the names of the little yobs that continually knock and run from my front door?  I fully expect them to still be doing it by the time the next census is due.  In fact, it will probably be their own kids who are at it by then.  Should I fail in my plan to work on the census team, then there may be an opening for me on Grumpy Old Women – move over Jenny Eclair.

Oh good grief.................I have just realised that by the next census I will be almost retirement age.  Looks like I had better start replying to the emails I keep receiving for powered mobility scooters, incontinence materials and arthritis potions.  I expect the missing Christmas post will still not have arrived by 2021 either.

Post, doorbells and a spider

Here we go again............still no sign of the missing Christmas post.  I did eventually receive a reply from the Royal Mail, telling me they are in the process of spending 2 billion pounds updating their systems to provide a more efficient service. Yeah right, like that is going to happen.  No wonder they keep raising their prices.  I have replied to the (lack of) Customer Service Department and asked what happens to the backlog of post.  Does it get sorted and delivered or simply destroyed?  I also reminded them that when Deutsche Post takes over at least they will know how to run a postal system, with seven day opening plus an efficient service.  I await their next letter to me – incidentally the letter I have already received took eight days to reach me from the date of issue....................

Still having bother with antisocial behaviour from the local teenagers when they knock on the door or ring the bell then disappear.  The police response has been great and they are as keen as the rest of us to catch them.  Where are their parents?  Why don’t they know where they are and what they are doing?  The local Friday night youth club is a great ruse for them as they get dropped off and picked up there, but never actually go inside as there is more ‘fun’ to be had annoying the local residents.  Apparently there is a doorbell on the market which takes photos of whoever is ringing so I am in the process of sourcing one.  It is either that or drop a piano on them from the roof, the only problem being storing a large enough supply.

Half term beckons next week which in my house usually means lots of noise, mess and children of various ages.  Looks like the make and do box will be in constant use for the creative little souls.  Hopefully the rain will hold off so we can at least head out for some spring walks, although with my luck it will rain all week and the sun will return when they start back at school.

Amusing incident at my parents’ house this week.  Dad was eating his tea and saw a spider on the floor.  Knowing my Mum’s total intolerance of anything with more than two legs in her house, he started to chase it around with his foot to try and encourage it to move elsewhere.  Every time he poked at it, the spider rolled over but didn’t run away.  Eventually he turned the light on and discovered he had actually been chasing his garlic tablet................ Pesky little critters these health pills.

This is all.

The Isle of Wight ferry and odd dress sense

Local news stations baffle the life out of me.  When I first moved north out of London, the local news here was relevant to the area.  However, ITV had a reshuffle some time ago of the local regions, so instead of being in the Central Midlands region I have been shifted to Central Meridian (all without moving an inch from where I was too).  Now then, bearing in mind I live in South Northamptonshire on the borders of Buckinghamshire and Oxfordshire, my “local” news now details happenings and goings-on in.................wait for it................Hampshire, Dorset, Essex, Sussex, Kent and the Isle of Wight.  Of course knowing about the delays on the Isle of Wight ferry and the occasional shipping forecast is very handy............if you live on the coast.  However, considering I am seven miles from Silverstone the ferry has very little (in fact none whatsoever) bearing on Northamptonshire life.  ITV insist that the transmitter is giving the correct information for this area.........exactly who at the company has a degree or even a basic knowledge of the layout of England?  It would appear nobody can claim that accolade.

The postal service continues to amaze me too.  Still no sign of the Christmas post which is holed up somewhere in the Northampton sorting office.  Perhaps it will arrive in time for Christmas 2011 although my hopes are not high.  However the new postman is proving to be an amusing sight with his trolley causing an obstacle course in the middle of the road.  It was a source of concern to me initially, but now I say good on him, as he is in fact causing the traffic to slow down around here which can’t be a bad thing.

This week has seen the acquisition of another car to replace my existing people carrier which has served its time and is well overdue to be let out on licence.  Much mirth and merriment at the car shop as the business manager is the double of John Virgo and I had to tell him so.  Well actually I did say John was a taller and narrower version, but facially they are the same.  On a subsequent visit I gave him one of my helpful hints...............with a striped shirt and tie with swirly patterns he resembled the test card so he had to know in order to readdress his wardrobe arrangements.

Thank you and goodnight.

Car plans, holiday plans and totally rubbish mail

Wednesday, 19 January 2011

So, here we are again, another week without Christmas post and another new postman who has added an extra dimension to the delivery service.  He knocked on the door yesterday to apologise for putting all my post through next doors letterbox, but explained it was his first day in the job. Great, so a postman with an inability read numbers, just what we need.  He has the bizarre habit of walking up the middle of the road with the post trolley then abandoning it so cars have to go around it..........Most odd.  Today however he was more successful and I have received two letters.............although I fully expect one of the neighbours to knock later with the rest of the post.  Still no Christmas backlog post though.  No reply either from the customer service (what a joke) department of the Royal Mail.  I imagine my letter has been lost on the way due to the totally crap service we are having.  I did sign off my letter wishing them Easter greetings as I said my hopes of them getting it before then were not high.

However, on a happier note the holiday plans are coming along nicely.  Looks like the train to Italy this year with possibly the sleeper train from Paris to Rome then plenty other city locations to explore for a couple of weeks.  This of course is in addtion to France for a week earlier in the year and a music festival in between.

New car is beckoning too. Well I say new, it will be new to me.  Going to view one this evening at the car supermarket place so hopefully will do the deal then.  Decided to replace the broken speaker covers in the existing jalopy (a hazard when it is a working car with little folk inside kicking at the doors) did the first one to see how it would hold and superglued my thumb.  It is currently shiny (not sticky) and I daresay in time it will wash away.

This is all.

So, here we are again, another week without Christmas post and another new postman who has added an extra dimension to the delivery service.  He knocked on the door yesterday to apologise for putting all my post through next doors letterbox, but explained it was his first day in the job. Great, so a postman with an inability read numbers, just what we need.  He has the bizarre habit of walking up the middle of the road with the post trolley then abandoning it so cars have to go around it..........Most odd.  Today however he was more successful and I have received two letters.............although I fully expect one of the neighbours to knock later with the rest of the post.  Still no Christmas backlog post though.  No reply either from the customer service (what a joke) department of the Royal Mail.  I imagine my letter has been lost on the way due to the totally crap service we are having.  I did sign off my letter wishing them Easter greetings as I said my hopes of them getting it before then were not high.

However, on a happier note the holiday plans are coming along nicely.  Looks like the train to Italy this year with possibly the sleeper train from Paris to Rome then plenty other city locations to explore for a couple of weeks.  This of course is in addtion to France for a week earlier in the year and a music festival in between.

New car is beckoning too. Well I say new, it will be new to me.  Going to view one this evening at the car supermarket place so hopefully will do the deal then.  Decided to replace the broken speaker covers in the existing jalopy (a hazard when it is a working car with little folk inside kicking at the doors) did the first one to see how it would hold and superglued my thumb.  It is currently shiny (not sticky) and I daresay in time it will wash away.

This is all.

Where is my missing post (and other irritations)

Another year dawns and the same old issues surface...............price rises everywhere from petrol to food, manky weather and broken teeth. Yes, despite the many visits for the famous root canal work involving a nice lie down every Monday morning, part of the tooth fell apart over the festive season.  Will have to make another booking to get it sorted plus get the other one started.  Oh good. Happy New Year.

With the snow a foot deep before Christmas, plans for the festive season were thrown into disarray, making for a rather quiet time.  I managed to complete several jigsaws though so the time was well spent. All the walking in wellies certainly helped the leg muscles to move and tone up a bit, although when the snow fell in over the top of the wellies I wasn’t too impressed.  Roll on the next drop of the white stuff at which point I will emigrate to warmer climes for six months of the year.

Just watching a children’s television programme where ‘Aunty Mabel’ has purchased some fake dog poo as a joke for children...........what an excellent example to set.

Explain this if you can..............I contacted the local sorting office yesterday to find out where the postal delivery was only to be told they didn’t have enough staff in work to do it. Errrrmm..................hello..............why is my area of town any less important than other areas?  Instead of the usual practice here of a morning postman then doing an afternoon one when they are short staffed, the decision was made to simply not bother.  Apparently they have a large backlog from before Christmas and will deliver today.  This explains why I am still waiting for nearly 20 cards which I know were sent to me.  I mentioned to the jobsworth on the telephone that the majority of my Christmas post had arrived already opened and that I was not happy about this.  He told me to speak to customer services (bearing in mind they are in Belfast) and quoted me a premium rate number.  At this point I lost my patience and reminded him that the post is sorted at his office, not the customer service office, and my gripe is with his team.  Needless to say he refused to help so I am stuck in limbo.  My hopes are not high in relation to receiving all the missing post today, nor receiving it in its original posted condition.  I posted three parcels together in December to the same address in China – to date, only two have arrived.  One street in town had no post delivered for five days before Christmas due to lack of staff.  Sell it off to Deutsche Post as soon as possible – at least the Germans know how to run an efficient system.  The increase in first class postage charges is so worth the money.................

Add the lack of rubbish collection into the mix and it has been a great start to the year by the professional bodies.  Four weeks without household waste being collected is shocking (no chance of ‘Christmas boxes’ for the binmen), although the local rodent population has been able to set up home in the many bin bags that people kindly thought to deposit on the street after week two.  Lucky old Ratty and his family, they were not homeless over Christmas.  No worries for them about lack of rooms at the inn. 

In times of stress caused by outside influences I find the best remedy is to sort out a holiday! Off to research the options now!  Arriverderci!